Postulate: A group's collective IQ is only as high as its lowest member...

SO. I'm sure by now that you've all seen the video "everything amazing and nobody's happy". (If not, take a moment and click that link.) Just a commentary on that.

You know what is incredibly frightening? Mob mentality. Thinking as a group, acting as a group. It's like the collective IQ of a group is only as high as it's lowest iq'd member. It's incredible - people do things in groups that they would never do by themselves. It's like the whole idea of consequences goes out the window. When it's a "we", people feel more comfortably acting stupid, racist, violent, sexist, ignorant, or any combination of the above.

ANYWAY - getting back to my point - I noticed how you have to very consciously decide not to participate in whatever group attitude is prevalent. I was hurrying through the airport this morning, annoyed at everyone and everything, when I realized - I have nothing to hurry for. (As evidenced by my current state of partial dress in my apartment...) I have no reason to find that clueless foreigner annoying. They're just trying to figure things out. And all those short women who walk slow? Join arms and create a barricade! Why not?

I guess I'm just musing about the fact that we never actually have to feel pissed off, hurried, annoyed, or any of those negative emotions. Choose to enjoy the experience.

That is, after all, what life is all about right? Learning to be happy even when things aren't perfect?

P.S. I just have to say, though, that I find short people who complain about airplane seats REALLY obnoxious. Really? You think you're uncomfortable? Try growing 8 inches and then tell me how you feel.

VS.

Coming home

Today, I just wanted to make a list.

Coming home is:

Chilling with my parents.
Chick flicks with my sisters. Not the new, predictable kind - the 80s ones or the classic-novels-turned-into-a-british-miniseries kind. North and South anyone?

Joking around with my dad.
Howling with my dog. If she weren't so afraid of the camera, I'd show you that.
high heels. I ALWAYS forget flats when I come home.
Shopping. Thrift stores, to be specific. LOVE THEM.
Mexican food. Mostly from hole in the wall places, but my chipotle lime chicken can hold its own.
Not driving.
Inn - N - Out.

The Lakers flag on my parent's car at the airport. They think it makes them easier to see. They don't even know the name of 1 Lakers player.
Warm food.
Free ingredients for said warm food.
A big bed. With a feather mattress.
Being able to chill in my pajamas until 4pm.
Hot cocoa, vanilla steamers, and tea. All the freaking time.
Movies. Lots of them. In the theater, at home, on TV.
Yarn working. Crocheting and knitting, people. I've gotten GOOD at it.

This is the scarf I'm currently working on. Mine doesn't look quite this good...

So here is my question. What is "going home" to you?

I'm not dramatic. Drama and I just have a high correlation

My sister Debby once described me that way.

Well, I guess this weekend lives up to that reputation. Let me tell you about it.

First of all, I found something I like about winter. I like late afternoon showers that are so hot they turn your skin pink. And I like getting out of them, when no one is home, and seeing the bluish winter light coming through the blinds. That's what I love. So picture this - I'm all blissed out from finding just one little thing I like about winter, and then, Sunday morning, I come out my job to find....

My car was dead.

Now normally, that would mean that I was retarded and left the lights on, but after 20 minutes of trying to juice up the battery (thanks Bryan), it still wouldn't start. So just picture me in my 4 inch leopard print heels prancing around the MTC parking lot. Awesome. Luckily, some nice stranger and his attractive son popped the clutch, and I got going.

Then, I get to church, and I park. I closed my eyes in hopeful anticipation, and killed the engine. And it wouldn't turn over.

Well, if you know anything about me, this next part won't surprise you. My quid pro quo is to freak out and then get over it. So I have this sobbing breakdown in church, and everyone's like looking back at me as I'm heaving and sniffling. It's fine. It doesn't help that I'm already a ward project..... I think they think I'm inactive. Whatever.

Anyway, so long story short (I know, too late), I had to pop the clutch one more time this morning to get it to the mechanic, and in order to do that, I had to push it (thanks to my friends Adam and Drew), and.... no one stopped to help. We had a GIRL pushing a CAR people! What the heck?! It's fine.

Add to all this that I had a final this morning at 7 and one this afternoon at 1, and that I got up at 4:30 to study. And that I took an epic nap on the wooden benches at school. Awesome.

Just freaking out a little bit.

To the middle - class, double X chromosomed collective of America

Here comes another venting sesh.

SO. I have a beef with women who like to tell me how oppressed I am. That because some women don't get paid as much for the same positions as men, or because most of the art featured in museums was done by men, that means we all have to join an eternally offended and overly vocal crusade against our heterogeneous chromosomed counterparts. I have one thing to tell all of them.

I am not oppressed.

Now, I would never deny that there are women in the world, and even in the counterminious  United States, that ARE oppressed. Women who have been trafficked, abused, oppressed, and underprivileged for years. I, however, am not one of them. Neither are most of us who belong to the middle class of this country. Sorry to burst your bubble, but we're not.

You know what else?

When you claim to be oppressed, you are mocking the real pain of those women who actually suffer.

So STOP IT. Count your freaking blessings people. I don't want to hear it. Neither do most of the men that surround you. Neither do most of the educated women.

Oppressed

NOT oppressed.

Thank you for your time.

Piratical heart surgery?

So of COURSE this would happen to me. I look like I had freaking heart surgery. Or got into a fight with a pirate. Or both.

Now, I must explain what I mean by this. Friday morning, I was rushing to get ready. And I was finishing up curling my hair. I always put the curling iron on the hottest setting, which is usually between 280-300 degrees (according to this site). Now, what can happen to your skin at 300 degrees? I will tell you.

I dropped the curling iron on to the left side of my chest, and it came in contact with my skin for just a moment. It left a red mark, and to be honest, didn't hurt that bad. However, next thing I knew (aka at work), it had bubbled into two blisters. Now?

It is a savage scab. A really unsightly one too. It is all greenish brown and crusty, and nasty.

So today I went to the health clinic at my job (which is technically only supposed to treat missionaries) and they put a GIANT gauze patch on it.

So people think I was stabbed in the heart or something.

No big deal.

Worth it?

You tell me!

At the end of the day....

The truth is, that life is good.

Because no matter what went wrong, things still go right. No matter how low your grade was on that test you studied for for 8 hours, or how expensive your car repair was, or how crusty your burn mark, or how obnoxious or rude or frustrating your family/friends/roommates are, or how dirty your room, or how boring your homework, or painful your root canal, or white your skin, or inexpressible oppressive the cold, there are so many things that lift you when you're down.

If you mix sugar and yeast into warm water, it still bubbles and grows. If you add flour and eggs, it still turns into dough. And that dough turns into bread.

Music still makes everything better. The dulls brighter and the brights more brilliant. Cat guts and horsehair, nylon and wood, twisted brass tubing - or maybe even a combination of them - still make your foot tap and your heart sing. Watching a friend's face as the music they love pours out of their fingers, vocal chords - that feeling still cannot be beat.

Pillows are still soft, and blankets are still warm.

Sleep is still refreshing.

Basically. things can go as crappy as (fill in the blank with the descriptive phrase of your choice), and at the end of the day, it's okay.

And if its not? Just wait. It make take 3 years, but it will be eventually.

The Count

Here's the current count:

Days it has snowed so far: 2
Times I have cried because I was cold: 1
Types of warm beverages purchased: 5 (4 kinds of herbal tea and hot chocolate)
Percent of leaves that have fallen off their mother tree: 65

Level of happiness: 5. Of 6. Higher than it's been in a long time.

Life is good. I have figured things out. I feel healthier than I have in a very looooong time.

Things I have realized change about my needs in winter:
1) I need to cry. On a regular basis. Just because

2) Carbs. I need them. Eggos are amazing. So are homemade baked goods.

3) Sleep. In the summertime, I need very little sleep. When light is scarce and the temperature lowers, I have my own version of hibernation. I just eat a whole bunch of food and sleep for about 12 hours. I function optimally when running on 9 hours of sleep. I function on a basic level at 7. Below that and you are looking for angry, frustrated, emotional, or in any other way unpleasant.

4) Hobbies. Winter forces me inside, so I remember that I play the accordion, and that I like to sew and write. And bake.

SO. This begs the question: What, if anything, does a change in the seasons mean for you? What random needs do you get as the days shorten (or lengthen)?

Haloween

Second post of the day.... but I needed to update about haloween. Me and a few friends decided to dress up and take a photo shoot in the desert of Utah. If you want to see pictures of all of the costumes, click here. 
However, I was pretty proud of my costume, so here it is.

Just so you know....

So.

Getting over it.

People find such satisfaction in passive agressively telling someone to "get over it". Most of the time, that phrase follows trivial stories of passing disappointments, mild irritations, or minute disagreements. However, sometimes, in the more extreme cases, people refuse to see the gravity of certain situations.

Just because you don't get it doesn't mean you can dismiss it.

Now, I need to make a distinction. It's not that we want to wallow in the experience, growing soggy and pruny from its murky, dull pain or momentary excstasy. It's more wanting to feel everything, experience it all before giving it up. Like an otter pop. Sucking the life essence out of the flavored ice until only the frigid exoskeleton remains. Pushing the emotions all the way from my heart and brain, through my fingertips and toes.

Now, this make take longer for some than others. So here's what it is; don't tell me to get over it. To just move on. Let me feel it all the way through. And if you don't understand, then that is your problem and not mine. Have you ever considered that maybe some people just feel deeper than others? Because that is, indeed, the case.

Now. Just to let you know of a social experiment I am now performing, this is the gist:

I don't need to apologize to you unless I meant to cause you harm. If my statements offended you and I didn't mean it, then that is more your problem then mine. Realize that not everything is about you and not everything is a direct attack on your person, and then maybe you'll get what I mean.

BIRTHDAY!!!

 Today, I would like to thank everyone that participated in my birthday celebrations. I would like to just show a few pictures of what it was.

At Carrabbas. DELICIOUS FOOD!

This is how happy I felt to be there

Look at all the food shrapnel on the table. YUM!

Here is my majestic steak at birthday dinner: Part 2 - Texas Roadhouse

Anna and buck were really happy to be celebrating my birthday with me.

So this weekend was my birthday. And I just wanted to thank everyone who came and who helped make me feel so loved. I know other people have already blogged on this, but I wanted to add my two cents.

So thank you, everyone. Dinner at both restaurants, and the small gathering in Logan (courtesy of Shano) were wonderful.

Hitler ruined it for everyone didn't he?

So. Today, I would like to assert an idea which I have, at long last, adopted. An idea that may be considered elitist. Or maybe even reactionary. But once again, I make the point: if you don't like it, read someone else's blog. Although you would be missing out.

I used to be of the belief that every person is entitled to their opinion, and that therefore, most opinions should be respected. I have since corrected my ways, and I unabashedly and unapologetically declare the following:

Some people's opinions are unresearched, unfounded, reactionary and, in short, completely retarded.

I will not try to declare that stupid and/or uninformed people do not have opinions; unfortunately, they do. However, I assert my right, as an "intellectually superior" being, not only to ignore their opinions, but to demand their silence on certain issues.

Isn't in incredible that we can expect foreigners to speak perfect english with no accent and have a functional knowledge of US history and the Constitution, while some of the more prominent faces in our society have proved their ignorance, stupidity, and downright unabashed bigotry by mis-quoting the documents upon which our society is founded?

Freedom certainly breeds many kinds of people. And so I ask you, idiot collective of America, to unite in silence.

I'd say forced sterilization is the obvious solution, but Hitler ruined it for everyone didn't he?

Thank you for your time.

So what really is moral courage?

So.... I recently watched/read about a finding that apparently has shaken the foundations of Christianity. The Gospel of Judas. The "truth", according to this hidden and controversial document, about one of the most deplorable men in history. Judas Iscariot. His name evokes images such as these:

But if this document is what it claims to be, then the betrayer whose name itself has been used to describe the morally debase throughout the centuries, was actually one of the most morally upright, humble people to ever walk this earth. The man whom the Lord could trust above all others to perform one of the most debase acts in all of religious history, who was willing to suffer the ultimate shame so that the Atonement of Christ could be carried out.

Now I am not debating whether or not this is true, but it makes me wonder; which is more admirable? The man who outwardly lives his standards, praised by men because he cannot be thought of anything other than admirable and good? or the man, who, knowing his strength, is willing to suffer villainization for a greater cause?
I would argue the latter. And while I wish I were strong enough to join their under appreciated, misunderstood, and courageous ranks, I thank the higher powers in which I believe that I am not nor ever will be noble enough to suffer such a fate.


You'd be surprised to see who they are, when you look around you.

DISCLAIMER

So it seems I've offended some people with that last post.

My honest first reaction is "get over it".

And then I realized that I should just explain. That was not written in reaction to or because of specific people. My interaction with some people made me wonder about certain things, and that post was mostly about GOD rather than anyone esle. Yes, recent events helped all my thoughts come to the point where I kind of had to spew them out, but I was not even mildly enraged or worried or upset when I wrote that. I was just thinking.

So much gets lost in semantics over the internet.

So if you think it was about you, it wasn't. It was about friendships in general. It was just me wondering. And trying to reconcile my idea of perfect love with what people tell me it is.

-L

Friend is a four letter word?

Isn't it funny that criticism coming from the people we love the most is supposed to be a sign of their love?

I mean, if a random stranger on the street came up and told you something negative about your personality, how would you react? Probably initially, shock and/or confusion. And then maybe humor. And after that, you'd forget all about it. What about if your enemy did so? You'd probably find a reason to slander that person, villanizing them to justify yourself in disbelieving what they had just told you.

But what about when it comes from people you love? Supposedly that's supposed to mean that they love you enough to correct you. That they care enough to want to see you change. And I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Isn't the fact that they love you supposed to mean that their care and affection is unconditional? Then why is it supposed to be flattering or a sign of trust? Isn't it just an evidence that they don't love you unconditionally - that they would love you more if you could just change this one little teensy thing about yourself?

Just something to think about.

Goodbye Leah, epic mormon

SO.

At my job, after we are done chatting with someone, we have to mark what kind of a chat it was. There are many options, such as "just looking for information", "willing to learn about the church", "member of the church", or "willing to keep commitments". Of all the types of chats we get, marking one as a 7 is the most depressing. 7s are "obnoxious, crude, or inappropriate".

Now there are some websites out there that for some reason just love to terrorize the internet.... nonviolent cyberterrorism, if you will. And usually, as soon as they would ask one of the classic questions ("did joseph smith receive revelation from a tophat? how do magnets work? Jesus had 2 dads and he turned out ok... why are you so anti?), we would mark it as a 7 and end the chat. Well, this past week, a new policy was instated....

be nice to the tools.

Or Dufuses. Dufi? Spazes. Whatever you want to call them. The TROLLS. (that's what they're called for realz.)

Well, sometimes they still just say crude things and act dumb. But sometimes, in the jewels of chats that encrust my usually mundane mornings, I actually have a legitimate conversation with these people. Their real issues with religion come out - whether it's evolution, the creation, gay marriage, or not believing in God. And it is so fulfilling to have a real conversation. Not because I got to stuff my beliefs down their throats or anything, because I'm thoroughly anti-that, but because we get to actually discuss things that are actually bothering them.

Well, on friday, I had one such conversation.

And his name was Alfred. And he started out by pranking. And we actually ended up having a good conversation about the nature of God and why bad things happen in the world.

This is how the conversation ended:

alfred: srsly:

alfred: you are the best mormon i ever met

Me: well thanks

Me: I certainly try

alfred: i came with pranking purposes

alfred: and leave confused

alfred: good troll. you deserve a medal.

Me: well, alfred, i have to go now, but if you would like to continue talking to someone I can transfer you

Me: hey thanks

alfred: bye then.

Me: bye!

Me: come back now ya hear?

alfred: k ill do so :)

Me: have a good day alfred, former troller

alfred: you too leah, epic mormon

Me: thanks

 

This is why things are fulfilling. Being able to take someone who ridiculed you and help them kind of see your perspective. Or just being able to see from their perspective.

 

Today, I have a beef with Americans. Not just Americans, but American males. Ones that look like this especially. So instead of blogging random comments, I have come up with a list of the reasons why I am so anti.
So. Here it is. The list of the top 9 reasons why I don't date Americans:

9) The love of protein shakes. More that they care more about looking strong than actually being strong. There is nothing attractive about big muscles if you can't lift anything or push anything with them. If you look like a man, but are weak like a woman, then your muscles are superflous and you bother me.

8) Video Games. Get a hobby. I too have succumbed, in some cases, to the lure of the immediate satisfaction of beating levels and bosses. But MOVE ON. We're not 12 anymore.

7) They either can't or won't dance. I love how pretty much every other culture sees dancing as a masculine act, but Americans think it's for pansies. What is pansyish about dominating a woman on the dance floor? There is never a time that Latinos are more masculine than when they can command me to move on the dance floor. Just saying.

6) Manscaping. Seriously, your hair makes you masculine. If it's excessive on odd parts, like your feet or the back of your upper arms, or even your back. Then shave or wax. Don't shave your arms. You're way to silky smooth, and it's weird.

5) Seeing feminine colors as masculine. There is a reason that pink is considered feminine. Don't try to look cool in your pink polo with the collar popped. You look like a douche.

4) Weird masculinity. This one is harder to describe. So, being a douchebag and ignoring people and only associating with attractive people? Not masculine. Being kind and helpful but not in a pushover way? Totally masculine.

3) Soft hands. Seriously? Don't touch me if your hands aren't at least a little bit rough. GO TO WORK, and rough those bad boys up. I don't want to feel like I'm being touched by a woman. It should scratch, just a little.

2) Loving the pre-teen body type. I swear, the rest of the world understands that a woman isn't a pre-teen. It's kinda weird, it's kind pedifilistic, and I totally oppose it. WHY is this hot?

1) Never showing when they're attracted to you.
So. When I walk down a hallway, or a street, or any other place, I can TELL when foreigners find me attractive. They look at me, they smile, they try to talk to me. I'm talking Polynesians, Latinos, Africans, and Europeans. I have very little experience with Asians. Not the cat calling, or anything else, but just the fact that they try to show you when they're attracted. Apparently Americans are so much of pansies that they have to be sure before they even admit that they are attracted to you.

So. Blatant stereotypes, it's all fine. Who cares. If you don't like it, read someone else's blog.

Thank you for your time.

Girl Drama? What?

So. Yesterday was epic. I say that for many reasons. They are as follows in no particular order:
1) I ate lunch with my friend anna, which consisted of barbequed chicken, tomatoes, and summer squash with a balsamic vinaigrette, and koolaide served out of a bowl into sugar-crusted martini glasses. Tuesdays with Anna..... maybe I could write something epic about it and get loads of money.
2) There was massive girl drama in my apartment. So monday night I walked in, and there was a group of girls in my apartment. I wasn;t even paying attention until I noticed that one of them was crying - they were having like a meeting about how to resolve some drama, which is totally respectable, but I was STUCK!! If I left, it was awkward. If I stayed, it was awkward. So yesterday they had to catch me up on about 4 months of drama so that I could get why said conference took place in my house.
3) I finished all my assignments for my capstone course in like an hour. Pretty epic. It includes 2 presentations, a long paper, and an executive summary. BOO YAH!!
4) I got to bed before 10:30. Which means when my alarm went off at 5:42 this morning, I wasn't crusty and angry. And yoga this morning was just that much better.

In other news, my friend mandy asked on monday if I had lost weight. Less than a week and I'm already progressing. LOVE IT!! Friend Mandy also is setting me up with a brown boy. Oh how I love her for all of these things, and many more.

For now, that is all.

Back to school. You know what I'm realizing? This semester is SUPER easy. I'm only taking 12 credits! After this spring, when I was taking the equivalent of 12 credits and working full time, this feels like cake. As I was planning my week, I realized I could feasibly get about a week ahead by just using my time wisely this monday and tuesday. Why not? Then I can do things like take a zumba class, and have my butt kicked by it. Speaking of which, I got this wristband at BYU that allows me to take all these aerobics classes and stuff this semester. It's been awesome. I went to this class called power pump on saturday morning, and it's STILL kicking my trash.

So things are pretty much normal. My new plan of budgeting has been working like a charm; granted, it has only been 2 weeks, but a good 2 weeks if you ask me! I have stuck completely to my budget, and it has been glorious. I have also washed my car every saturday since I bought it (that's three saturdays, for the arithmetically challenged).

Yeah. So I guess my life is average for now. Which is great. I'm going to St. George in 2 weeks to visit my friend Stooph, who I love.

That's her. Isn't she great?
After that I'm heading up to Rexburg with my friend Cami, who I also love.

That's Cami. When we went back to Chicago together. I heart her.

Cool, well, party people, it's time for me to chat with some folks. have a nice one!

Oh star wars

So. This weekend.
'Twas great.

i went latin dancing on friday night. It was SO MUCH FUN. It was randomly at Pirate Island, and I think I was one of 3 white girls there. There was salsa dancing, and bachata, and merengue (spelling?). My favorite is bachata. I was going to post a video of it so you can see, but most of the videos make it look uber sexual. And it's not. I danced with like 5 latinos, and they were really fun and taught me how to do all the dances. One of my favorite moments? When one guy started to approach me, and he was probably 5'2", and so I hid behind my friend Becca:

What a good sport she is.

Yesterday I did all the things adults should do on saturdays. I washed my car, i cleaned my bathroom, and I made a shopping list. I guess I'm pretty boring eh?

Recently I've been having a craving to watch Jurrasic Park. I think I should do it. And make a party of it. Remember that guy who dies respecting the raptors? pretty awesome.

In other news, I'm probably going to armenia in the spring. And by probably I mean DEFINETLY. I'm done waiting around to go. if I can even get one other person to go with me, I'm going. We found tickets for $717 dollars. Who knew? For that much I'd go tomorrow! Except that armenia gets cold FAST. brrrr

Favorite thing of the week? This:

Have a nice one, world?

date of the up variety

So. Let me just tell you about my ridiculous life.

Did I tell you I almost got run over by a deer? Yeah. Almost impaled by a buck. It came galloping towards me as I nonchalantly strolled out of my apartment, and was going SO FAST that it tripped, fell, SKIDDED, and then got up and kept running. awesome. After the deer almost killed me, 2 guys from my ward came running by and it turns out they had terrified it into running. Awesome.

Scampering deer not do it for you? How about a capstone course SO INTENSE it makes me people cry? Yup. that's my major. The professor looks for your weaknesses, your buttons if you will, and he presses them repeatedly until you can't take it. And yet you're supposed to. Awesome. Every thursday for the rest of the academic year, people.

Or how about the fact that my job is to represent mormons as a whole? When you click on "chat with us" on mormon.org, you get me. At least on the shifts that I work. So when people decide they want to ask any question to a mormon, they ask me. Which is excellent.

And try this on for size: 4 of my best friends got married. Which means that consistent nighttime hangouts are pretty much gone. Who's a loser from 7-whenever I go to sleep? Oh that's me. Yup. The redhead in the corner.

Basically, here's the deal: all the chance happenings, that are supposed to be rare and unplanned, happen to me. It's fine.

In other news, life is pretty good. Provo is prematurely turning cold, which is fine, except that I HATE the winter. And I haven't yet budgeted for boots. FOr the coldness. I have budgeted for a blender though, which means it's smoothie for breakfast time everyone!. Yeeee haw!

Yeah. Don't know what that was about. It's fine.

Autmnal woes.

So. I have started a new semester. And I'm taking biogeography, middle east geography, aerospace 410, economic geography, and the capstone for my major. I think I want to shoot myself.

In other news. I have started working in the RC at the MTC, which means I help missionaries answer phones, chat with people who are curious about the church, and basically be a computer fiend. It's awesome. Unfortunately, it makes time go by kinda slow. But all is well, i guess that's just the way things go.

The weddings went well, I will post pictures that I think describe them at a later date. There was hardly any drama, just lots of wearing dresses adn having my picture taken and being a bridal wench in general.

Man. A lot has happened. But whatever. It's fine. I have one more year until I graduate, and I'm excited! I finally get to enter the real world. Oh, glorious world, and all the things you offer to me outside of schoolage.

Autumn is coming. Which means winter is coming. i spend most of my year either celebrating the end of winter or lamenting its inevitable return. What does that say about me?

Que Trasero!

I got extensions. Like, really long ones. 22 inch ones to be exact and precise about the whole business. It took about 2 1/2 hours and they attach bits of dyed indian woman hair to the roots using beads. The process wen t a little like this; grab tiny section of my hair. Slide bead onto it. Put little section of hair into bead. collapse bead. It actually looks surprisingly natural, but I've suddenly realized why women with long hair wear it in a long braid down their back; because sometimes it's obnoxious that when you lean back in a chair it pulls on your head. :)

In other news, I have successfully purchased all the bridesmaid dresses I need to. Rejoice right? Don't mind if I do! I have yet to figure out how I'm going to get to Brittney's wedding, but I'll figure it out.

Additionally, I got a spider bite last week that has ended up being SAVAGE. I thought I just had an enormous zit on my buttcheek, and I was like "fine so my personal hygiene sucks". But then it got HUGE. I'm talking 4 inches across huge. Sitting on a golfball huge. So I went to the doctor, who put me on these SAVAGE antibiotics. When I got them from the pharmacy, the pharmacist came out, alarmed, asking "why do you have both of these at once?!" And I was like "um.....because I got eaten by a spider and its infected and I'm allergic to amoxycillin". And the lady was like "good luck not throwing up." Thanks.

So aparently on monday, when I went back to the doctor, it was bigger and worse off. So I got a shot in my flank. It didn't even hurt. so make that 3 doses of powerful antibiotics. And tuesday, I had to get ANOTHER shot. But this time, the nurse hit a nerve or something because my vision went black and I felt like I was going to puke for like an hour and a half after. Awesome. Don't nurses go to school for that kind of crap? So you DON'T injure your patients with large needles?!

It's finally shrinking and getting better. My favorite moment of the whole incident? Having the doctor draw a circle around my bite in permanent marker. who knew buttcheeks were so ticklish?

Anyway, that is my life. Today. who knows what ridiculousness will happen next week. Stay tuned!

I have returned from the dead.

So life is finally calming down enough to write another post. SOOO much has happened. But just know that spring semester 2010 just about killed me. I think I've lost 10 years off my life. Blah.

So my sister is in Germany. Jealous? Totally. But she deserves it. I lived in armenia for a bit. So it's her turn. She is enjoying German cheeses and fruits and smells. And I'm in PROVO. Sweet.

So I've discovered that Provo is, to me, a blood poison. It makes me rebellious and angry in a way that no other location does. And you say maybe its me. Maybe it is. But I've got to get out of here. Less than a year and I will turn my back on this place and never look back. I think I'll move to florida. And never come back.

In other news, 4 of my best friends are getting married in August. Because it is easier to remember in a list, congratulations to:

1) Jenny Patten, who is getting hitched August 10 somewhere in Utah
2) Brittney Griffin, who is tying the knot August 13 in Idaho Falls, Idaho
3) Anna Pew, who is kicking the bucket on August 21, 2010 in Boise, Idaho, and
4) Kelia Hyer, who is taking the plunge on August 27, 2010 in Oqqirh mountain (spelling?) Utah

So basically, my august is going to consist of weddings. From start to finish. I'm trying to figure out if I actually have to come back between some of the weddings, considering 2 are in Idaho.... thats a lot of driving.

Finals this thursday, and then DONE with spring. Next semester is infinitely more managable, time wise. This semsester, I had at least 9 straight hours of work and school daily. It was intense. But its over, I did it, and I never have to do it again.

So next year, my sister Debby and I are planning on taking a trip somewhere. Maybe to Istanbul. Maybe Thailand. Who knows. But we're going. And it will be great.

That is all.

It's almost over!!

So today marks the beginning of the end. The home stretch of this week of cramming, intellectual growth, and memorization. Today at 11 I have a test, and then at 1 I have work. At 5 I get off, at which point I will go straight back to school and make a 5-7 minute briefing on human trafficking in the former USSR. Tomorrow morning I have to take a final from last semester, and then I'm HOME FREE!!

In other news, last night, as I was crawling into bed, a travesty happened. A few weeks ago, I shifted my bed a foot or two to the right so as to rearrange my furniture and make room for a much needed bookcase. Last night, I was feeling towards my bed in the dark, and I thought I had found it. So I trusted my judgment and put my left hand forward and leaned as if I were falling into bed. Instead, I fell just to the right of the bed, and my left palm made contact with the bed frame, and made this giant WHACK sound. I didn't even know one could BRUISE their palm, but apparently,one can.

So wish me luck everyone! The final sprint! And then, a weekend of post-mission frivolity. JOY!

My fridge smells like cat food

So this morning, i woke up at 8:00. my roommate Jenny, who is supposed to be at work by that time, was still sound asleep in bed. So I woke her up and got her going. when I went downstairs, I opened the fridge, and out wafts this nasty smell. It was like wet catfood - not the benign dry kind, but the wet, ground up fish parts fancy feast kind. I almost gagged.

In other news, this weekend a bunch of AYMers are coming into town to celebrate the return of one of the senior missionary couples. I am subsequently trying to get friday evening off of work, to fully enjoy their presence.

The good news? It's actually warm outside. CELEBRATE!!!

So this week is going to be the week from hell. Not that last week wasn't, this is just the..... academic version. Today I took my test for Geography of Africa, and while I was in the testing center, a guy near me got caught cheating. So I was sitting there, minding my own business, marking all the major cities of africa on an outline map, and all of a sudden, the proctor, who is usually silent as the grave as he paroles the aisles, asks "may I see your test?" The guy hands it over, and as the proctor leafs through it, lo and behold - two typed sheets of notes! So the proctor and the guy walk over to the place where you hand it the test, as the rest of us gawk at him. It made my stomach jump. Good thing I can get As without cheating! Thanks God for making me smart.

So I have 2 more tests this week, and luckily my presentation in front of the ROTC got pushed to next week. Yay!

In other news, a bunch of AYMers are getting together this weekend to celebrate a senior couple's return. I'm STOKED! I seriously can't wait.

That is all.

My life is out of control. Thing is, I was reading my old blog, and it always has been. Things just happen. I had a midterm last week (31/32 points, thank you very much!) and I have one next week. I have a presentation tomorrow, that I have yet to begin creating, and a project due in two weeks that I have yet to start. I also have  a paper due sometime this month, which for some reason doesn't motivate me at ALL.

I guess I just keep having these tragic moments, when I wish that things could be like they were "before". But now that I've looked at "before", things are pretty much the same. Here I am, in Provo, going completely INSANE because I'm trapped here. Wanting to get out of here so desperately, but not being able to because I have to freaking GRADUATE from college. I don't even care anymore. I just want to move somewhere savage and never look back.

Basically, no matter when it is, Provo is my kryptonite. It's more like an allergic reaction, really; it comes on with time and is worse each time it happens. The rash is pretty bad at this point. Totally not helped by the fact that I am literally STUCK here with no car and nothing else.

I can't handle this. I need to get out. Away. I'm so done with this nonsense. I seriously don't even know WHAT I'm going to do at this point. I'm feeling rather desperate.

Brutal Honesty

That's my latest kick. Just telling it exactly like it is.

It's actually incredibly refreshing. It's kind of nerve-racking. It's kind of awesome.

It ends up with things like this:
"I'm very attracted to you. You have a nice figure, pretty hair, and a beautiful smile."
 or try this one on for size!
"You're being stupid. You're not stupid, but you're acting like it."

Things like that. Cutting out all the crap, all the meaningless conversation.
I've discovered that if you demand honesty from people, they'll eventually buckle and give it to you.

I made armenian food this weekend, and it came out GREAT! When I go home I'll have to make it again. I was told that I should open a restaurant. I guess I could make it a combination armenian - mexican restaurant. What could I call it; La Hamov Cantina?

Isn't it funny that boys come in waves? There are only two options; a drought or a flood. I'm the flood area now. Not that I'm complaining, I like going on dates.

Basically things are fine. I think I've finally been honest enough with the people around me that they understand now. For the first time since my misison.

It's like I've invested little parts of myself into different people. A little here, a little there. Is there anyone that's a secure investment? I'm sure only time will tell with that one.

It's the law of increasing returns.

Is it over yet?

So, i'm sitting in this random lounge area in the basement of the wilk, sheltering myself from the snow, and for the past 15 minutes, this man has been trying to purchase something at the vending machines. For some reason, it won't accept his money. I have no idea why, but this is amusing me IMMENSELY. He just keeps sticking the dollar in, and it just keeps shoving it back out at him. I wonder what he feels about that. He looks like he's had a hard life. Like maybe life has rejected what he has to offer. I wonder if he sees what I see; that the dollar is to the vending machine as he is to the world. Rejected. Identified as something other than he is.

Anyway, this week was long. REALLY LONG. I took a final exam from last semester, studied a bunch, and I'm just overall tuckered out. I think its time for spring to be here. The sad part about all this, is that I don't actually think there is going to be any improvement until it warms up outside.

Too depressing for you? Sorry. You move to provo and tell me its not depressing.

Friend is a Four Letter Word

To be honest, I kind of liked this weekend. Why do I have to complain about everything? So now I'm in the library, beginning my epic studies for this week. I have 2 tests this week. Good times! I also need to start a few projects.

Isn't it strange how everything happens at the same time?

this is a vague one...

So this is possibly one of the most traumatic weekends of my life. Without going into too much detail, or basically while remaining sufficiently vague, this is what happened:

1) I accomplished 2 overdue life goals
2) Got my nose rubbed in the dirt - figuratively
3) Worked FAR too much and had my nose rubbed in the dirt at work (figuratively again)
4) Had my men's choir perform a number
5) Got behind on my book of mormon reading
6) got the worst grade I've gotten on ANYTHING since I've been home from my mission
7) got in an epic fight with my roommate
8) Got debased in a situation where I thought I was in control

Awesome. Happy valentines day everyone.

Tuesday...

So life is really busy. In a good way, but busy nonetheless. Tuesdays are an oasis of rest in a week that otherwise consists of early mornings, late nights, and draining projects of every sort. Two of my missionaries went to the field this week, to colorado springs and to pocatello idaho. They're awesome. 

So nothing is really new.... I have been researching laptops, and I found a really good one for only $84! So I think I'm going to buy it this weekend, after I get my paycheck. That way I can actually have my stuff on a laptop I own... good thing I have a roommate that knows everything about computers....

In other news, I have started researching some travel options for next summer. I want to go see all these places before I have to settle down into real life.... so i am researching the cost of visiting southeast asia, oceania and the pacific, and/or africa. Don't freak out, mom. I'll do it safe. I'm trying to convince someone to come with me, but if they don't, thats okay. 

Anyway, that's pretty much it....

Just a quick update.

It has finally hit....

The winter slump. I swear, there is something about the cold that takes away my appetite, sucks all my energy and makes my emotions rise close to the surface. All I can think about is going home and crawling back into bed and disappearing. which wouldn't be such a bad think if I didn't have a test to take on subsaharan africa..... but all is well. Basically I am feeling desperate for rest, but I spend most of my free time doing just that. Maybe it's a mild form of hibernation.

This weekend was really busy; friday night I got picked up from work and we went straight to a concert. It was actually pretty funny; I had to change my clothes in the bathroom at the MTC because there is NO WAY I'm going out in sister missionary clothes. On my way out the door after changing from a mid-calf length skirt and cardigan to leggings and a hip scarf, one of my elders saw me. He was like "SEESTER, what are you wearing?!" I was like "go plan. Why are you out of the classroom?" So it was a moment of realization for the both of us; he saw that I have a life outside of work, and I saw that when I'm not there, he doesn't do what he's supposed to.

Saturday I slept in, which was much needed, and then headed off to work. One of the other teachers got a concussion, so I took his class for part of the evening. Then, my sister picked me up from work with her husband and we went out to dinner at the cheesecake factory - my treat - for her birthday. It was really delicious! I seriously could eat there every day.

So now, here I am on the bottom floor of the library, exhausted for no reason and unable to find the energy to continue studying for my africa exam. I just want to crawl into a humid, heated hole and sleep for the rest of winter.

Aren't leggings great?!

I'm sitting in my Geography 304 class right now....and obviously paying meticulous attention. I find that this is one of the classes in which if I pay attention, I fall asleep. So as to stay awake, I listen passively, taking occasional notes, and do other things. Today? Posting.

Nothing really new to report... I can't really think of anything to say. I'm so TIRED. This week has been busy! Last night I went to Nate Baldwin's show, and while his music is enjoyable, I don't really enjoy live rock and roll. I'm such a grandma - I kept thinking "why don't they turn that down! It's too loud!" It was  like a newbury park reunion - Grace, Kathryn, Lauren, Andy, Sam, Sarah, Jessica, and many more were there. All in all a fun night, but my ears were ringing and I was SO tired afterward. Maybe to some that feeling is joyful, but I didn't like it.

In other news, I sent my first elder to the field this monday. I'm excited for him - hopefully he is doing well. My other three are in there until about the second week in february... which means I've still got time! I love my job. I can't wait to get to work; its so much more relaxing.

I watched The Last Unicorn on wednesday, which was not only a great blast from the past, but was the creepies experience of my life. Just check out this clip  of a creepy pirate cat purring. Yeah. Or just check out the theme song. And then tell me that this movie is not majestic.

I haven't asked that guy out yet... but I'm working on it. I'm looking at it this way; it's like eating an elephant. you have to do it one bite at a time!

Any suggestions would be welcome.

Back in Black... and by black, I mean Provo.

Aight. So it's been a while. Whatever. Life gets busy.

News #1: I LOVE MY JOB!! Teaching at the MTC is so much better than BEING in the MTC. I have a district of 4 Elders right now, Elders Estrella, Anand, Alatorre, and Avila. They are great! (Insert Tony the Tiger here.) I basically just get to teach them english and teach them how to be missionaries. And it is AWESOME!!!

News #2: I have a new calling! I'm the ward choir director, and I've already got a few things in the works. I'm actually really excited for this!

News #3: I am going to ask a boy out on a date. I'm sick of playing it safe. So I'm going to ask. Yup. that's me. So any suggestions on what to do on a date would be greatly appreciated.... I think I'm just going to call him up and be like "hey. I'm calling to ask you on a date. BOO YA!!!" Sound good? I think so.

News #4: My roomate Jenny got a Wii. Which means that I have wasted most of my weekend beating things on Mariocart and dancing around to Just Dance. It's great - its a game where you hold the remote and dance around like the person on the screen. My favorite thing ever? Watching our two male next door neighbors dance around to Britney Spear's "Womanizer". Yeah. Awesome.

News #5: Can we just go back to the whole "asking a boy out" thing? I've never done this before.... seriously.  Any advice would be very welcomed.

News #7: In a year I will be in my LAST SEMESTER EVER of BYU. WAAA HOOO!!!!! I could not be more excited about this,.

So over the break I got to go back to Chicago and see three of the families I knew well get sealed in the Temple. It was SO MUCH FUN! We stayed with members, and played with their kids, and wore Jeans, and it was the best vacation ever. It was frigid, but it was worth it. Chicago really is a great city. At one point an old asian man started hitting on me. He was probably five feet tall, and old enough to have experienced the dark ages. He told me "most women associate height with masculinity. I am short, but have a very strong masculinity". He asked me for my number, and when I said no, he asked me for my email. I don't even know what made him thing that was a good idea in the first place. Best part? Cami was RIGHT BEHIND ME the whole time, just gabbing away on her phone as if there wasn't a totally traumatizing experience happening right in front of her.

So now I'm back in Provo, and it hasn't been very cold. Knock on wood. All of you. Knock on something wooden. I love my classes, minus my Islam in Contemporary Society class. It's filled with a bunch of die hard "America Sucks, go Palestine" people that have world peace on the brain. Like a bunch of not attractive pageant contestants who actually think they're smart.

That is all, folks!!!
P.S. Avatar is awesome. I want to see it again. And again!