I mean, if a random stranger on the street came up and told you something negative about your personality, how would you react? Probably initially, shock and/or confusion. And then maybe humor. And after that, you'd forget all about it. What about if your enemy did so? You'd probably find a reason to slander that person, villanizing them to justify yourself in disbelieving what they had just told you.
But what about when it comes from people you love? Supposedly that's supposed to mean that they love you enough to correct you. That they care enough to want to see you change. And I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Isn't the fact that they love you supposed to mean that their care and affection is unconditional? Then why is it supposed to be flattering or a sign of trust? Isn't it just an evidence that they don't love you unconditionally - that they would love you more if you could just change this one little teensy thing about yourself?
Just something to think about.
interesting. i think it depends what it is. it's love if the thing you need to change is something that would help you/make you better or without changing it it would hurt you. other little things though that have no effect of helping you, no, i don't think that's love, just annoyance.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jodi. It depends on what motivates the criticism: wanting to help YOU, or just being annoyed. Some of the bravest friend moments I've had have been friends telling me things I didn't necessarily want to hear at that moment. Of course it's not always easy to tell which it is!
ReplyDeleteI see where you're coming from and where it probably feels like that. But, I think that unconditional love doesn't mean to just take someone or something and love it without end just the way they are. I think it means that you love them enough to want to see them continually change for the better, but to also love them whether they change or not. Doesn't mean they won't tell us when they think we could be better, just means they already love us and want to see us progress...in turn that doesn't mean they will stop loving us either.I just ran that into the ground, but I hope you get the point. And know that I do love you!!!
ReplyDeleteA truer sign of their unconditional love would be whether they change their relationship with you when you continue to do what they disagree with. True friendship or love isn't endless appeasement, but a relationship that endures disagreements; a relationship that has civil discourse and mutual respect.
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