Today, I have a beef with Americans. Not just Americans, but American males. Ones that look like this especially. So instead of blogging random comments, I have come up with a list of the reasons why I am so anti.
So. Here it is. The list of the top 9 reasons why I don't date Americans:

9) The love of protein shakes. More that they care more about looking strong than actually being strong. There is nothing attractive about big muscles if you can't lift anything or push anything with them. If you look like a man, but are weak like a woman, then your muscles are superflous and you bother me.

8) Video Games. Get a hobby. I too have succumbed, in some cases, to the lure of the immediate satisfaction of beating levels and bosses. But MOVE ON. We're not 12 anymore.

7) They either can't or won't dance. I love how pretty much every other culture sees dancing as a masculine act, but Americans think it's for pansies. What is pansyish about dominating a woman on the dance floor? There is never a time that Latinos are more masculine than when they can command me to move on the dance floor. Just saying.

6) Manscaping. Seriously, your hair makes you masculine. If it's excessive on odd parts, like your feet or the back of your upper arms, or even your back. Then shave or wax. Don't shave your arms. You're way to silky smooth, and it's weird.

5) Seeing feminine colors as masculine. There is a reason that pink is considered feminine. Don't try to look cool in your pink polo with the collar popped. You look like a douche.

4) Weird masculinity. This one is harder to describe. So, being a douchebag and ignoring people and only associating with attractive people? Not masculine. Being kind and helpful but not in a pushover way? Totally masculine.

3) Soft hands. Seriously? Don't touch me if your hands aren't at least a little bit rough. GO TO WORK, and rough those bad boys up. I don't want to feel like I'm being touched by a woman. It should scratch, just a little.

2) Loving the pre-teen body type. I swear, the rest of the world understands that a woman isn't a pre-teen. It's kinda weird, it's kind pedifilistic, and I totally oppose it. WHY is this hot?

1) Never showing when they're attracted to you.
So. When I walk down a hallway, or a street, or any other place, I can TELL when foreigners find me attractive. They look at me, they smile, they try to talk to me. I'm talking Polynesians, Latinos, Africans, and Europeans. I have very little experience with Asians. Not the cat calling, or anything else, but just the fact that they try to show you when they're attracted. Apparently Americans are so much of pansies that they have to be sure before they even admit that they are attracted to you.

So. Blatant stereotypes, it's all fine. Who cares. If you don't like it, read someone else's blog.

Thank you for your time.

Girl Drama? What?

So. Yesterday was epic. I say that for many reasons. They are as follows in no particular order:
1) I ate lunch with my friend anna, which consisted of barbequed chicken, tomatoes, and summer squash with a balsamic vinaigrette, and koolaide served out of a bowl into sugar-crusted martini glasses. Tuesdays with Anna..... maybe I could write something epic about it and get loads of money.
2) There was massive girl drama in my apartment. So monday night I walked in, and there was a group of girls in my apartment. I wasn;t even paying attention until I noticed that one of them was crying - they were having like a meeting about how to resolve some drama, which is totally respectable, but I was STUCK!! If I left, it was awkward. If I stayed, it was awkward. So yesterday they had to catch me up on about 4 months of drama so that I could get why said conference took place in my house.
3) I finished all my assignments for my capstone course in like an hour. Pretty epic. It includes 2 presentations, a long paper, and an executive summary. BOO YAH!!
4) I got to bed before 10:30. Which means when my alarm went off at 5:42 this morning, I wasn't crusty and angry. And yoga this morning was just that much better.

In other news, my friend mandy asked on monday if I had lost weight. Less than a week and I'm already progressing. LOVE IT!! Friend Mandy also is setting me up with a brown boy. Oh how I love her for all of these things, and many more.

For now, that is all.

Back to school. You know what I'm realizing? This semester is SUPER easy. I'm only taking 12 credits! After this spring, when I was taking the equivalent of 12 credits and working full time, this feels like cake. As I was planning my week, I realized I could feasibly get about a week ahead by just using my time wisely this monday and tuesday. Why not? Then I can do things like take a zumba class, and have my butt kicked by it. Speaking of which, I got this wristband at BYU that allows me to take all these aerobics classes and stuff this semester. It's been awesome. I went to this class called power pump on saturday morning, and it's STILL kicking my trash.

So things are pretty much normal. My new plan of budgeting has been working like a charm; granted, it has only been 2 weeks, but a good 2 weeks if you ask me! I have stuck completely to my budget, and it has been glorious. I have also washed my car every saturday since I bought it (that's three saturdays, for the arithmetically challenged).

Yeah. So I guess my life is average for now. Which is great. I'm going to St. George in 2 weeks to visit my friend Stooph, who I love.

That's her. Isn't she great?
After that I'm heading up to Rexburg with my friend Cami, who I also love.

That's Cami. When we went back to Chicago together. I heart her.

Cool, well, party people, it's time for me to chat with some folks. have a nice one!

Oh star wars

So. This weekend.
'Twas great.

i went latin dancing on friday night. It was SO MUCH FUN. It was randomly at Pirate Island, and I think I was one of 3 white girls there. There was salsa dancing, and bachata, and merengue (spelling?). My favorite is bachata. I was going to post a video of it so you can see, but most of the videos make it look uber sexual. And it's not. I danced with like 5 latinos, and they were really fun and taught me how to do all the dances. One of my favorite moments? When one guy started to approach me, and he was probably 5'2", and so I hid behind my friend Becca:

What a good sport she is.

Yesterday I did all the things adults should do on saturdays. I washed my car, i cleaned my bathroom, and I made a shopping list. I guess I'm pretty boring eh?

Recently I've been having a craving to watch Jurrasic Park. I think I should do it. And make a party of it. Remember that guy who dies respecting the raptors? pretty awesome.

In other news, I'm probably going to armenia in the spring. And by probably I mean DEFINETLY. I'm done waiting around to go. if I can even get one other person to go with me, I'm going. We found tickets for $717 dollars. Who knew? For that much I'd go tomorrow! Except that armenia gets cold FAST. brrrr

Favorite thing of the week? This:

Have a nice one, world?

date of the up variety

So. Let me just tell you about my ridiculous life.

Did I tell you I almost got run over by a deer? Yeah. Almost impaled by a buck. It came galloping towards me as I nonchalantly strolled out of my apartment, and was going SO FAST that it tripped, fell, SKIDDED, and then got up and kept running. awesome. After the deer almost killed me, 2 guys from my ward came running by and it turns out they had terrified it into running. Awesome.

Scampering deer not do it for you? How about a capstone course SO INTENSE it makes me people cry? Yup. that's my major. The professor looks for your weaknesses, your buttons if you will, and he presses them repeatedly until you can't take it. And yet you're supposed to. Awesome. Every thursday for the rest of the academic year, people.

Or how about the fact that my job is to represent mormons as a whole? When you click on "chat with us" on mormon.org, you get me. At least on the shifts that I work. So when people decide they want to ask any question to a mormon, they ask me. Which is excellent.

And try this on for size: 4 of my best friends got married. Which means that consistent nighttime hangouts are pretty much gone. Who's a loser from 7-whenever I go to sleep? Oh that's me. Yup. The redhead in the corner.

Basically, here's the deal: all the chance happenings, that are supposed to be rare and unplanned, happen to me. It's fine.

In other news, life is pretty good. Provo is prematurely turning cold, which is fine, except that I HATE the winter. And I haven't yet budgeted for boots. FOr the coldness. I have budgeted for a blender though, which means it's smoothie for breakfast time everyone!. Yeeee haw!

Yeah. Don't know what that was about. It's fine.

Autmnal woes.

So. I have started a new semester. And I'm taking biogeography, middle east geography, aerospace 410, economic geography, and the capstone for my major. I think I want to shoot myself.

In other news. I have started working in the RC at the MTC, which means I help missionaries answer phones, chat with people who are curious about the church, and basically be a computer fiend. It's awesome. Unfortunately, it makes time go by kinda slow. But all is well, i guess that's just the way things go.

The weddings went well, I will post pictures that I think describe them at a later date. There was hardly any drama, just lots of wearing dresses adn having my picture taken and being a bridal wench in general.

Man. A lot has happened. But whatever. It's fine. I have one more year until I graduate, and I'm excited! I finally get to enter the real world. Oh, glorious world, and all the things you offer to me outside of schoolage.

Autumn is coming. Which means winter is coming. i spend most of my year either celebrating the end of winter or lamenting its inevitable return. What does that say about me?