Top 10 things I shouldn't be sorry about, but I am

So I'm sure you all remember this post, about the top 10 things I should be sorry about, but I'm not.

Since I seem to love lists so much, I thought I'd do a new list. A more reflective list.

Top 10 things I shouldn't be sorry about, but I am.

10) Buying hair extensions. I had them for almost 3 months, and they were great at the time, but that was amost $300. And I haven't used them since. And they're such a hassle, I don't know if I ever will. They're super heavy, and really hard to style (because the texture of the hair was so different from my own), and they gave me headaches. Looked fantastic though!

9) My summer job at Camp Abnaki. It was a great time, but it stressed me out to a level I had never been stressed before. I also acted really immature towards the end, and I regret that. Oh well. Live and learn right?
 
8) Not continuing Russian. I know, I speak Spanish and Armenian, but I still want to learn Russian. I wish I had kept going with it. It was one of the few classes I ever took that I actually enjoyed.

7) Getting restless with work. I like to be busy. And so when I'm not kept busy, I have a hard time. Always been an issue for me. I guess I shouldn't be sorry, because how many people have that problem? But yet I am. I feel guilty for even getting paid when my time isn't filled.

6) Not pleasing everyone. I went through phases of trying to make everyone happy. Turns out that makes you miserable. So now I live my life by the motto "I do what I want". And this is my theme song.

But I still struggle with it every day. I want everyone to like me and be proud of me. So it's hard when they're not. Or even worse, when people want me to do opposite things. BAH.

5) Not maintaining certain friendships. Yeah. People that don't appreciate me as much as I do them. I still wish I had worked harder with them. Even if it was mostly one-sided. I liked them. And my indignance has ended the relationship. Sigh. Everyone told me that was me "preserving my self-worth". Only recently have I figured out that my self-worth has nothing to do with anyone else.

4) Attending BYU. Most people seem to have a great time there. They "finally fit in" and "love being around people with their same standards". These people "finally fit in" because they're weird, according to the world's standards. I like people. I like people that don't believe the same things. They challenge me.

3) Being a jack (or jane?) of all trades, master of none. I can do a LOT of things. I can bellydance, tap dance, play the accordion, knit, crochet, speak spanish, swim, wakeboard, do the splits, sew, give public speeches, cook, bake, and do all kinds of other things. But I'm not EXCELLENT at any of these things. I wish I had stuck with certain hobbies and gotten really good at them. Like the violin. And swimming.

2) Letting people friend zone me. ALL. THE. TIME. I'm attractive. I'm engaging. I'm fun to be with. But mostly I let people friend zone me before there's even a chance of anything happening. I hate awkwardness. So rather than suffer through the awkward stuff to get to the good stuff, I just let people push me into the "friend zone abyss" before we get to that part. Worst part? I can't stop.

1) Coming home from Armenia. This is a decision that most people will never understand. And the few that do, understand why it was necessary. This is one of the MAJOR things I'm still sorry about. But I shouldn't be. Because of that decision, I learned Spanish. And it turns out, Spanish is taking me all sorts of new places.

More on that next time..... ;)