The Vicious Circle

With the title of this particular blog post, it makes me think of this:

All the time. Freaking Neverending Story. I had a bishop once who looked like Falcor, the luck dragon. Needless to say, we were besties. 

Anyhoooo….. I wanted to address a topic that plagues my daily life. Daily. As in, every day this happens. Rather than speak generically, I'll specifically address yesterday. Ready? Here it goes. 

7:53 AM - First of three alarms goes off. City and Colour's The Girl.(Yes, I need three. Good for you if you don't.) I hit "dismiss" if I can see through the sleep in my eyes, roll back over, straddle my pillow, and go back to sleep.

8:00 AM - Second of three alarms goes off. This time I actually listen to the music - Milky Chance's Stolen Dance, right now- before unceremoniously wishing that NOT EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE WAS TOUCHSCREEN, so I could FEEL for a snooze rather than opening my tired, tired eyes to look for the freaking dismiss button.

8:03 AM - Third alarm goes off. Lady Gaga's You and I. LOVE THAT SONG. It's the only thing that makes mornings okay. That and my dog. 

Roll around in bed, making a mental list of all the things I'm going to do today. It includes:

1) Run like 10 miles

2) 3 HOURS OF YOGA

3) Clean the WHOLE house

4) Organize stuff

5) Look pretty and perfect 

6) Bake those muffins I've been talking about for like 3 weeks….finally…..

7) Cook real meals, instead of ALWAYS potatoes

8) Make friends 

9) Be skinny and tan

8:15- 8:20 ish: Eventually, I make my way out of bed, try not to step on my dog who is on her back, sleeping, STILL, and throw on my "I can't go outside in underwear, and my dog needs to pee" outfit. 

8:25 Take dog to pee.

8:30 Feed dog.

8:35 Think about eating a nutritious breakfast. Eat cinnamon toast instead.

9:00-12:00 Send a few texts, check emails, put some crappy movie on (today it's the second half of "Twilight") in the background so the sound of my refrigerator doesn't depress me. Get distracted by video of dog eating peanut butter like a human.

12:00 Decide I should probably get ready for the day. 

12:05 But wait I should exercise

12:10 OOH LOOK AT THIS MAKEUP TUTORIAL ON YOUTUBE.

12:15-12:45 Do makeup tutorial. End up looking like I belong in the red light district.

12:45 Wait….. what about working out??? I look too cute to get all sweaty now. It will ruin my makeup. Oh well. I'll go before the dog park.

1:00 -4:00 Fill time with random things, like accordion playing, and playing with my dog, and stalking my neighbors……

4:00 Oh wait, I should go for a run or something now…. I'll go at 5 and then go straight to the dog park!

5:00 Running time! Wait…. where are my keys?

5:25 still looking

5:35 There they are! In the key bowl. Sill Norman, putting things away. TIme for a run! Wait, I leave for the dog park in 10 minutes….. I'll go after the dog park

5:45 DOG PARK!

7:30 Get home from dog park

8:00 maybe I should make dinner

9:00 NOM NOM NOM…. now I'm too full to run….

10:00 Just one more episode….

1:00 AM or three….. 

And then I fall asleep. 

And this is the vicious circle of why I never exercise. 

Creamed Spinach and Prunes

I know, I know - I'm not old. I don't think I'm old.

But I am older.

And that is a hard thing to be.

Tonight, I am awake at what used to be a "normal", "fun" hour, but which I now consider to be a godforsaken, TIRED hour. And why am I awake, you might ask?

The short answer is that my fiancé is 21. And I am 28.

The long answer is….. long.

You see, today, we had a very balanced diet. Here is what we ate today:

Waffles with maple syrup and butter for breakfast.
Baguette and cheddar for lunch, with some ice water to wash it down.
A granola bar.
Some homemade tortilla chips with salsa.
Horchata
1/2 a pint of Ben and Jerry's Caramel Hat Trick

Norman ate, in addition to the things mentioned above:

A banana smoothie
Chunky Monkey Ben and Jerry's

And yet, he's in the other room, sawing logs and dreaming of disneyland rides.

How do I know this? He wanted to stay up with me, but I demanded he sleep. I told him to think of his favorite disneyland rides as he was falling to sleep. Star Tours, Indiana Jones, and the Matterhorn, in that order. 

And here I am, with a combination of some really unfortunate digestive issues, including, but not limited to:

Constipation
Diarrhea
Heartburn
Nausea

Yeah. This is my life. It's strange - I don't feel like I'm old, or aging, but my body certainly behaves differently. I remember a time, when I was about 20, when I ate ONLY white bread and fun dip and coke for over a week.

Guyz. I ate this stuff ALL DAY. I had it in bulk. 

And went for a run every night.

And I felt FINE.

And now? It's like I'm going to have to start eating creamed spinach and prunes to feel alright.

If you tell me this appetizes you, I'm pretty sure we can't be friends. 

I used to get up in the morning, not so bright eyed and bushy tailed (for which I will NOT apologize, ever- my opinion about morning person privilege is for another day), but nonetheless pain free and ready to start my day. Now my sciatic nerve aches. My hips ache. My plantar faciitis makes the first few steps all but unbearable, and occasionally, my knees just decide they don't feel like working properly.

Geez. As happy as I am to have a brain that allows me to learn language and write, and enjoy some of the finer things in life, I wish humans' bodies had evolved WITH our brains, instead of us compensating for our pitiful useless bag of bones by coming up with things like "shoes" and "medicine."

So yeah. Good night everyone. I doubt this will be the last time I am up with body pains while my infantile fiancé sleeps. And yes. I will blog about it every time. Deal with it.

Top 5! And bottom 5. And a few videos!

As I expressed in one of last week's posts, I love lists. I make lists for EVERYTHING. I make lists for grocery shopping. I make lists for things I want to get done. I make lists for fun things to do afterwards. I make lists of movies I like and want to watch again. My life is filled with sticky notes in assorted colors, both digital and real, telling me what to do and what to watch and what to eat.

So tonight, another list. A list of the little things.

I find that people, and places, and things, are in the little things. The way the light comes over the shower curtain in the outdoor shower at summer camp. The inexplicable giant machine screw that sat, untouched, in my work parking lot for MONTHS until I gave it a home. It's these tiny peculiarities in people that make you smile unexpectedly - because only she ties her scarf that way, wraps her hair in a ponytail with that particular hand movement, wraps the cheese that way before she puts it in the fridge.

So here is a list: My top 5 little things that make me happy.

And my top five little things that toast my cookies.

Since I want to end on a positive note, let's start with the bad things.

5) Thank you cards. They're a nice gesture. I get it. But they're SUCH A WASTE of time, money, and paper. Just text me. Send me an email. Or don't thank me at all. Whatever. But don't give me a pretty card that I feel obligated to keep for like 3 months, on an awkward windowsill, knocking it over all the time.

 4) When you're trying to jaywalk, and someone slows down and makes you make your move before you're ready. You know - you've just run to the center divider, and now this guy in an X-Terra just STOPS. I'm like "Hey BUDDY. Keep it going. I got this." For some reason, I find this extremely irritating. Just keep moving. I can take care of myself.

3) When movie theater toilets don't flush themselves. I consider myself pretty self aware, and I can see all the non-problems that we create for ourselves in a first world life. But for some reason, my knee jerk reaction to non-automatic toilet  seats in the cinema make me roll my eyes. Like, "get it together, guys." I ALWAYS catch myself and laugh, but for some reason - it ruins my life for about 1.5 seconds.

2) When dogs make eye contact when they're going to the bathroom. I know you're pooping. Why are you trying to bond with me in this moment?

1) Urine sample cups. They are so CLEARLY designed for male anatomy, and COMPLETELY incompatible with female anatomy. Thank you, patriarchy, for making me pee all over my hand.

And now, for my top 5:

5) High quality receipt paper. Our local cinema has amazing receipt paper. Sometimes, during the movie, I stroke my receipt with my thumb. For a long time. It is glossy and thick. Don't judge me.

4) Free refills. I will never get over free refills.

3) Birds running. Something about it bring joy to my heart. Just seeing these majestic, flying creatures, running on their stupid, tiny legs. It makes my day.

2) Free samples. Even if I don't like it. Even if it's the worst thing ever. I love free samples. That toxic energy drink? Sure, I'll try a free sample! That TERRIBLE biscotti that tastes like almonds crawled inside a cup of tea and rotted? Why not!

1) Sonic Ice. For the americans reading this, you know what I mean - that soft, perfect-every-time ice that comes in Sonic beverages. It is the stuff of dreams. Canada is seriously lacking in epic ice.

And there it is!

So tell me - what are the little things that make or break your day?

Top 10 things that make Canada weird

I've always felt that lists were very inspiring. You may find them clinical and boring, but guess what? This is MY blog. We do what I want here. So I'm going to make a list. Deal with it.

Top 10 things that make Canada weird. (To an American).

10) Everyone is too friendly. Like, you're at a mental institution friendly. Maybe all of Canada is just one mental institution…..Maybe we're all truly just shuffling around in our bathrobes….. we're like Australia to the brits, but instead of exporting the criminals, they exported the crazies….  Come to think of it, most Canadians I've met have been annoyingly positive. The kind of people that makes you want to kick them in the shin, just so you can prove that not everything is sunshine and unicorns.

This guy's probably Canadian. Look at that silly bathrobe.

9) How expensive things are. I get it - your dollar used to be not worth as much. But guess what? It's almost the same as the US dollar now? So WHY are you paying $7 for a gallon of milk?


8) How acceptable sleeveless shirts are on guys. Don't get me wrong- sun's out, guns out. I'm all for it. But why, on a COLD day, do canadian men bear their blindingly white arms for all to see? I'm at a loss.

7) How incredibly hard it is to come here as an American.

Didn't it used to be easy? What happened to those good old days? Seriously.

6) RCMP uniforms. Nuff said.

5) Maple flavored EVERYTHING. Don't get me wrong - maple doughnuts are the best doughnuts. If you think differently you're wrong. And I enjoy the maple flavored treats. But WHY? Why is it on your flag? If I understand correctly, your main exports are lumber and things you import to Vancouver cheaper than Long Beach and then ship south to the US of A, so…… why?

Don't believe me? Visit Everthing Maple. It's a real site.

4) No one sings the national anthem with pride. In the US, when we're asked to sing our anthem, there is a pretty respectable howling that comes out of the crowd. We may be overweight, gun-slinging crazies, but we will sing the HECK out of our national anthem. I went to the Royal Canadian Mounted Police's musical ride last year, (yes. That is a thing.) which not only sounds, but truly is the most Canadian thing out there, and NO ONE SANG.

I was in shock.

And that brings me to my next thing.

3) The Royal Canadian Mounted Police's musical ride.

Basically, the Police in Canada have a fancy horse riding show. It's important, and coveted, and you can, like, meet the riders and their horses afterwards. These people are mini-celebrities.

It's weird.

Here is a video of what it is all about:

Yeah. It's a thing.

2) Calling the letter "Z" "zede". If you're speaking french, than COOL. Otherwise, WTF?

1) Poutine.

For those of you that don't know what Poutine is, here is a description from Wikipedia (yes, I know Wikipedia isn't a source, but this isn't a peer edited paper, and I do what I want.):

Poutine is a common Canadian dish, originating in Quebec, made with french fries, topped with a light brown gravy-like sauce and cheese curds.

Sounds good, right?

WRONG!

YUM! Congealed color of a "light brown" color and unknown flavor on soggy fries!

First of all, I'm all for putting things on french fries - for example, carne asada and guacamole!

However, a gravy that is described by a COLOR and not a FLAVOR are not a good option. Gravy shouldn't be "light brown", it should be "chicken", "pork", or "beef".

And then - cheese curds. Or as I like to call them, cheese cruds. They're basically the humiliated part of the cheese. Just let them die in peace.

And the best part? Canadians are so proud of it they want to make in their national dish.

Why I Yoga

Hello! To one and all.

This morning, I skyped with my family, who are on vacation in Mammoth. They've been posting pictures on Facebook of things like the view from the cabin:

And the pictures of the bear they saw:

And as jealous as I am, I guess I can't be jealous, because I've been places that look like this:

And this:

For the past year and a half.

But as soon as I saw the pictures, my first thought was "I could totally do yoga RIGHT THERE."

This morning, on Skype, my Dad and I were sarcastically jarring away at each other as my sister, Becca, did yoga in the room.

Now, I don't want to pretend to know all the reasons my sister does yoga, but I can tell you something about why I do yoga.

And it might tie into the way Pettit women think.

See, we have some pretty intense brains. I've been told for YEARS that I talk too much. My friend Anna put it perfectly. She said that while most people who talk a lot say EVERYTHING that comes to their brain, I only say a portion - I just think faster and more than most other people.

Now, that may sound like bragging. But let me assure you - its not a good thing.

I have a brain that, in the middle of an oral exam, yells "HOW MUCH IS YOUR RENT AND HOW MUCH DOES IT TAKE OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK YOU SHOULD PROBABLY CHECK YOUR BANK ACCOUNT RIGHT NOW."

A brain that conveniently screams at the pool "REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME YOUR BATHING SUIT TOP SLIPPED WELL IT WILL HAPPEN EVERY TIME FROM NOW ON. CHECK CONSTANTLY AND DON'T READ YOUR BOOK."

A brain that, even when I am working out, goes "YOU SHOULD SEND AN EMAIL OR A FACEBOOK MESSAGE TO THAT LOST FRIEND FROM HIGH SCHOOL WHO PRETTY MUCH WROTE YOU OFF TO YOUR FACE AS YOU FED HER CHILD BANANAS IN THE CAR."

Yeah. It gets loud in my head sometimes.

And it is a struggle. A struggle to not judge activities based on their monetary value, as my brain is constantly calculating ways to save money. Or to focus on watching a show when if I just check one more time, that email would have come.

So while I do love to sweat, and stretch, and everything else, I do yoga because it is an exercise that makes me calm my mind. An exercise that tells you to FOCUS on the present, and feel where your breath is going, and open spaces in your body. To soften this, to strengthen that, to rotate this, or lift that.

I do yoga because it is one of the FEW things that demands my full, undivided attention.

That and my adorable puppy, Jewels.