Creamed Spinach and Prunes

I know, I know - I'm not old. I don't think I'm old.

But I am older.

And that is a hard thing to be.

Tonight, I am awake at what used to be a "normal", "fun" hour, but which I now consider to be a godforsaken, TIRED hour. And why am I awake, you might ask?

The short answer is that my fiancé is 21. And I am 28.

The long answer is….. long.

You see, today, we had a very balanced diet. Here is what we ate today:

Waffles with maple syrup and butter for breakfast.
Baguette and cheddar for lunch, with some ice water to wash it down.
A granola bar.
Some homemade tortilla chips with salsa.
Horchata
1/2 a pint of Ben and Jerry's Caramel Hat Trick

Norman ate, in addition to the things mentioned above:

A banana smoothie
Chunky Monkey Ben and Jerry's

And yet, he's in the other room, sawing logs and dreaming of disneyland rides.

How do I know this? He wanted to stay up with me, but I demanded he sleep. I told him to think of his favorite disneyland rides as he was falling to sleep. Star Tours, Indiana Jones, and the Matterhorn, in that order. 

And here I am, with a combination of some really unfortunate digestive issues, including, but not limited to:

Constipation
Diarrhea
Heartburn
Nausea

Yeah. This is my life. It's strange - I don't feel like I'm old, or aging, but my body certainly behaves differently. I remember a time, when I was about 20, when I ate ONLY white bread and fun dip and coke for over a week.

Guyz. I ate this stuff ALL DAY. I had it in bulk. 

And went for a run every night.

And I felt FINE.

And now? It's like I'm going to have to start eating creamed spinach and prunes to feel alright.

If you tell me this appetizes you, I'm pretty sure we can't be friends. 

I used to get up in the morning, not so bright eyed and bushy tailed (for which I will NOT apologize, ever- my opinion about morning person privilege is for another day), but nonetheless pain free and ready to start my day. Now my sciatic nerve aches. My hips ache. My plantar faciitis makes the first few steps all but unbearable, and occasionally, my knees just decide they don't feel like working properly.

Geez. As happy as I am to have a brain that allows me to learn language and write, and enjoy some of the finer things in life, I wish humans' bodies had evolved WITH our brains, instead of us compensating for our pitiful useless bag of bones by coming up with things like "shoes" and "medicine."

So yeah. Good night everyone. I doubt this will be the last time I am up with body pains while my infantile fiancé sleeps. And yes. I will blog about it every time. Deal with it.