The Vicious Circle

With the title of this particular blog post, it makes me think of this:

All the time. Freaking Neverending Story. I had a bishop once who looked like Falcor, the luck dragon. Needless to say, we were besties. 

Anyhoooo….. I wanted to address a topic that plagues my daily life. Daily. As in, every day this happens. Rather than speak generically, I'll specifically address yesterday. Ready? Here it goes. 

7:53 AM - First of three alarms goes off. City and Colour's The Girl.(Yes, I need three. Good for you if you don't.) I hit "dismiss" if I can see through the sleep in my eyes, roll back over, straddle my pillow, and go back to sleep.

8:00 AM - Second of three alarms goes off. This time I actually listen to the music - Milky Chance's Stolen Dance, right now- before unceremoniously wishing that NOT EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE WAS TOUCHSCREEN, so I could FEEL for a snooze rather than opening my tired, tired eyes to look for the freaking dismiss button.

8:03 AM - Third alarm goes off. Lady Gaga's You and I. LOVE THAT SONG. It's the only thing that makes mornings okay. That and my dog. 

Roll around in bed, making a mental list of all the things I'm going to do today. It includes:

1) Run like 10 miles

2) 3 HOURS OF YOGA

3) Clean the WHOLE house

4) Organize stuff

5) Look pretty and perfect 

6) Bake those muffins I've been talking about for like 3 weeks….finally…..

7) Cook real meals, instead of ALWAYS potatoes

8) Make friends 

9) Be skinny and tan

8:15- 8:20 ish: Eventually, I make my way out of bed, try not to step on my dog who is on her back, sleeping, STILL, and throw on my "I can't go outside in underwear, and my dog needs to pee" outfit. 

8:25 Take dog to pee.

8:30 Feed dog.

8:35 Think about eating a nutritious breakfast. Eat cinnamon toast instead.

9:00-12:00 Send a few texts, check emails, put some crappy movie on (today it's the second half of "Twilight") in the background so the sound of my refrigerator doesn't depress me. Get distracted by video of dog eating peanut butter like a human.

12:00 Decide I should probably get ready for the day. 

12:05 But wait I should exercise

12:10 OOH LOOK AT THIS MAKEUP TUTORIAL ON YOUTUBE.

12:15-12:45 Do makeup tutorial. End up looking like I belong in the red light district.

12:45 Wait….. what about working out??? I look too cute to get all sweaty now. It will ruin my makeup. Oh well. I'll go before the dog park.

1:00 -4:00 Fill time with random things, like accordion playing, and playing with my dog, and stalking my neighbors……

4:00 Oh wait, I should go for a run or something now…. I'll go at 5 and then go straight to the dog park!

5:00 Running time! Wait…. where are my keys?

5:25 still looking

5:35 There they are! In the key bowl. Sill Norman, putting things away. TIme for a run! Wait, I leave for the dog park in 10 minutes….. I'll go after the dog park

5:45 DOG PARK!

7:30 Get home from dog park

8:00 maybe I should make dinner

9:00 NOM NOM NOM…. now I'm too full to run….

10:00 Just one more episode….

1:00 AM or three….. 

And then I fall asleep. 

And this is the vicious circle of why I never exercise. 

Creamed Spinach and Prunes

I know, I know - I'm not old. I don't think I'm old.

But I am older.

And that is a hard thing to be.

Tonight, I am awake at what used to be a "normal", "fun" hour, but which I now consider to be a godforsaken, TIRED hour. And why am I awake, you might ask?

The short answer is that my fiancé is 21. And I am 28.

The long answer is….. long.

You see, today, we had a very balanced diet. Here is what we ate today:

Waffles with maple syrup and butter for breakfast.
Baguette and cheddar for lunch, with some ice water to wash it down.
A granola bar.
Some homemade tortilla chips with salsa.
Horchata
1/2 a pint of Ben and Jerry's Caramel Hat Trick

Norman ate, in addition to the things mentioned above:

A banana smoothie
Chunky Monkey Ben and Jerry's

And yet, he's in the other room, sawing logs and dreaming of disneyland rides.

How do I know this? He wanted to stay up with me, but I demanded he sleep. I told him to think of his favorite disneyland rides as he was falling to sleep. Star Tours, Indiana Jones, and the Matterhorn, in that order. 

And here I am, with a combination of some really unfortunate digestive issues, including, but not limited to:

Constipation
Diarrhea
Heartburn
Nausea

Yeah. This is my life. It's strange - I don't feel like I'm old, or aging, but my body certainly behaves differently. I remember a time, when I was about 20, when I ate ONLY white bread and fun dip and coke for over a week.

Guyz. I ate this stuff ALL DAY. I had it in bulk. 

And went for a run every night.

And I felt FINE.

And now? It's like I'm going to have to start eating creamed spinach and prunes to feel alright.

If you tell me this appetizes you, I'm pretty sure we can't be friends. 

I used to get up in the morning, not so bright eyed and bushy tailed (for which I will NOT apologize, ever- my opinion about morning person privilege is for another day), but nonetheless pain free and ready to start my day. Now my sciatic nerve aches. My hips ache. My plantar faciitis makes the first few steps all but unbearable, and occasionally, my knees just decide they don't feel like working properly.

Geez. As happy as I am to have a brain that allows me to learn language and write, and enjoy some of the finer things in life, I wish humans' bodies had evolved WITH our brains, instead of us compensating for our pitiful useless bag of bones by coming up with things like "shoes" and "medicine."

So yeah. Good night everyone. I doubt this will be the last time I am up with body pains while my infantile fiancé sleeps. And yes. I will blog about it every time. Deal with it.