Oh, dear friends.
If you know me, you know that I don't sleep.
Like, at all.
I have seen a LOT of movies, and developed a lot of "quiet hobbies". (Sewing, knitting, crocheting, online shopping, etc.)
And I think a lot of factors have made it so that I haven't slept very well.
So many things.
But guess what?
Now, I sleep. And I can honestly say it's because of one product.
And I never get sick. And I feel energetic and healthy and can focus. And all without caffeine.
It's Kyani.
Norman's aunt told us about it, and I started looking into it, not expecting much.
BUT OH MY GOSH.
I've never felt better.
Seriously. I'm sold on this.
If you want a sample, let me know.
That is all, friends.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Trenches
You never know how big someone's yard is until you have to dig a neat and orderly trench across it.
NORMAN'S YARD IS LONG.
I have spent the majority of the past two days cutting squares of grass, removing them, and digging knee deep into the dirt. Today, the plumbing and electrical pipes were laid. And then we filled the damn hole back up. Ugh.
But we did it.
And as a reward? Tonight we went golfing! And I are girl who are getting much better at golf.
Also, I just watched the BBC version of "Little Dorrit".
8 HOURS LONG.
That is all.
NORMAN'S YARD IS LONG.
I have spent the majority of the past two days cutting squares of grass, removing them, and digging knee deep into the dirt. Today, the plumbing and electrical pipes were laid. And then we filled the damn hole back up. Ugh.
But we did it.
And as a reward? Tonight we went golfing! And I are girl who are getting much better at golf.
Also, I just watched the BBC version of "Little Dorrit".
8 HOURS LONG.
That is all.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Moving Backwards
Let me tell you a little story.
When I was 17, I graduated high school.
When I was barely 21, I learned my second language.
When I was barely 22, I learned my third.
By my 25th birthday, I had traveled to: Czech Republic, Italy, Armenia, Mexico, Thailand, and all sorts of small western towns.
I have had a job or occupation since I was 16 years old. With almost no breaks.
I'm moving backwards, people.
I now live in a place called the Sunshine Coast (seriously. It's a real place.), and I sleep as late as I want. I help out around the house, but basically am an unemployed sloth of a human.
And you know what? I'm happy. I always thought some external form of validation is what has kept me sane. People thinking I'm good at something, finishing tasks, etc. And I do plenty of that here (Dishwasher? LOADED!) Turns out, I just need to feel free to be happy. Before, that consisted of supporting myself so I could do the things I wanted. Now, it means doing 2 hours of yard work and thinking "I'm such a hard worker" and then going sailing. Or golfing. Or swimming.
Yeah. My life is really, really hard.
Also, I will post sailing pictures soon.
Monday, April 1, 2013
On Perspective
So. As many of you know, I have been living out of the country since october of last year. I spent the first 3 months in the Dominican Republic, and the next 3 in Gibsons, British Columbia. It has been amazing - I have learned so much about myself, and what I believe, and what I value and want for the rest of my life. I finally figured out what "living the dream" means for me (read: being able to change your dream whenever you want).
Now; living out of the country has had some distinct advantages, especially in regards to politics and the way the rest of the world views America.
And to them, most of us look like this:
Or this:
And the longer I have been out of the country, the more I understand why.
Now, this is not a post about how America is the worst, or how I wish I weren't one. But all growing up, I thought I lived in the best country in the world. The country that offers the freedoms craved by many and offered by few. That here, "radicals" of our age can find solace, just as the "radicals" of 1776 found it.
I was under the understanding that we treasured the tenets on which our government was founded - that "men have certain unalienable rights".
And that those are "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness".
That we believed that "all men are created equal".
I even thought that we still believed those things.
And since I've been out of the country, I've seen certain issues raise pertinent and pressing questions regarding the freedoms offered and principles threatened in our country. The main two?
Marriage equality and gun control.
Now, my opinions on those issues should become clear as I point out a few things; however, the purpose of this post isn't to weigh in as other folk have been doing. (Not because I think that's bad, just because.... that's not my purpose here.)
You know, having freedom of religion in 1776 was extremely radical and heretical. Maybe even as radical and heretical as letting people have other kinds of freedoms. I'm sure plenty of common, ordinary, everyday people were just as shocked and outraged at the idea of it as the state heads that were preventing it in Western Europe. But we still fought for it. Because we believe that people have a god-given, unalienable right to pursue liberty and happiness. In that time, it was religious freedom and not having to house dirty soldiers for free. Today, it is something different. But all the same - why are we fighting the progress that our forefathers died for?
Now, the logic applied above may indicate that one of the major things we treasure is our right to bear arms.
Now, here is where those two are different.
The Declaration of Independence was a document declaring, you guessed it!, independence from what the colonial dwellers deemed a tyrannical government. It is based on the idea that we (Americans) are a capable, free people and we weren't going to pay those damn taxes anymore. (Funny how it always comes down to taxes, huh?)
Then, after the war was over, the constitution was drafted. After it was finished, people were so butt-hurt about certain grievances that the Bill of Rights was added. Things like not having to quarter soldiers and not being subject to unreasonable searches and seizures. These were SPECIFIC things relevant to the events of the day that were added to protect the then paranoid and traumatized citizens.
So when people start discussions like this:
I find the idea of protecting the paranoia of our past bizarre and completely illegitimate.
So, I have a solution. Instead of fighting certain issues, why don't we take a look at the 10th amendment to the constitution and really re-evalute if we are living in the country our forefathers wanted to create, or if something basic and elementary changed along the way.
"The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."
There is is, people. We have created these problems by letting the media focus our attentions on specific issues instead of the broad, overarching dilemma that we are facing as a country.
So instead of voicing opinions on whether marriage equality should be permitted, or whether or not the gun laws need to change, why don't we instead voice our opinions on whether or not we want the federal government to have the power to decide those things for us?
Just and idea.
Now; living out of the country has had some distinct advantages, especially in regards to politics and the way the rest of the world views America.
And to them, most of us look like this:
 |
| This man, unfortunately, is pretty typical. |
 |
| Don't take my bacon donuts! |
Now, this is not a post about how America is the worst, or how I wish I weren't one. But all growing up, I thought I lived in the best country in the world. The country that offers the freedoms craved by many and offered by few. That here, "radicals" of our age can find solace, just as the "radicals" of 1776 found it.
I was under the understanding that we treasured the tenets on which our government was founded - that "men have certain unalienable rights".
And that those are "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness".
That we believed that "all men are created equal".
I even thought that we still believed those things.
And since I've been out of the country, I've seen certain issues raise pertinent and pressing questions regarding the freedoms offered and principles threatened in our country. The main two?
Marriage equality and gun control.
Now, my opinions on those issues should become clear as I point out a few things; however, the purpose of this post isn't to weigh in as other folk have been doing. (Not because I think that's bad, just because.... that's not my purpose here.)
You know, having freedom of religion in 1776 was extremely radical and heretical. Maybe even as radical and heretical as letting people have other kinds of freedoms. I'm sure plenty of common, ordinary, everyday people were just as shocked and outraged at the idea of it as the state heads that were preventing it in Western Europe. But we still fought for it. Because we believe that people have a god-given, unalienable right to pursue liberty and happiness. In that time, it was religious freedom and not having to house dirty soldiers for free. Today, it is something different. But all the same - why are we fighting the progress that our forefathers died for?
Now, the logic applied above may indicate that one of the major things we treasure is our right to bear arms.
 |
| No, not like that, silly Larry! |
The Declaration of Independence was a document declaring, you guessed it!, independence from what the colonial dwellers deemed a tyrannical government. It is based on the idea that we (Americans) are a capable, free people and we weren't going to pay those damn taxes anymore. (Funny how it always comes down to taxes, huh?)
Then, after the war was over, the constitution was drafted. After it was finished, people were so butt-hurt about certain grievances that the Bill of Rights was added. Things like not having to quarter soldiers and not being subject to unreasonable searches and seizures. These were SPECIFIC things relevant to the events of the day that were added to protect the then paranoid and traumatized citizens.
So when people start discussions like this:
I find the idea of protecting the paranoia of our past bizarre and completely illegitimate.
So, I have a solution. Instead of fighting certain issues, why don't we take a look at the 10th amendment to the constitution and really re-evalute if we are living in the country our forefathers wanted to create, or if something basic and elementary changed along the way.
"The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people."
There is is, people. We have created these problems by letting the media focus our attentions on specific issues instead of the broad, overarching dilemma that we are facing as a country.
So instead of voicing opinions on whether marriage equality should be permitted, or whether or not the gun laws need to change, why don't we instead voice our opinions on whether or not we want the federal government to have the power to decide those things for us?
Just and idea.
Monday, March 18, 2013
The Evils of Benevolent Condescension
I recently got a message from a very close friend, who asked why I haven't been blogging.
"Because," I said, "I'm pretty sure no one wants to hear what I have to say."
"I want to hear what you have to say!" She answered. "What would you blog about if you could?"
I went on to say "I would blog about how I like obama and think that gun control is the best thing ever. And how most of the people I have on my facebook feed piss me off when they post about how "guns don't kill people, people kill people." Having lots of friends with strict "I hate obama" feelings and "pro gun" feelings, I don't think that blog would be too well received."
And those are things I would, and will, blog about.
You see, I've been remaining silent. Because "it's not worth it" to get involved, and because I know there will be consequences for expressing myself.
But then, I realized.
If you don't want to read my blog, don't.
I'm not forcing anyone to read this. And I'm not in the mood to censor myself anymore.
So those are all things I'm going to express myself about.
But today, I'm going to express something totally different.
Anyone that has been following my life at all has probably figured out that I'm dating a handsome Swiss 20 year old that does not belong to my religion.
And I live with him in Canada.
And I've gotten all sorts of reactions to that fact. People who think it's "sketchy" or bad, people who try to convince me that I'm evil and people trying to figure out exactly where, on a scale from "utterly naive" to "total shameless whore" I stand. So I've avoided conversations, questions, and everything else.
And this blog is not going to be me explaining myself. Because I've realized something.
It's no one's damn business.
What I am going to address, however, in this blog, is the "benevolent condescension" that is so common among religious people.
Let me explain what I mean. There is, seemingly, a "formula" for being a happy, successful mormon woman. This formula includes:
1) Get married in the temple (preferably to a returned missionary)
2) Have kids
3) Get some education (if you're liberal like that. I mean, it will come in handy when you teach your kids.)*
4) Have no issues or doubts whatsoever
If you stray from the formula, people pity you. In that special, christian way. And that spiritual pity? I'm calling it benevolent condescension.
It's the feeling that some express that "she's such a good woman, and it's not her fault that she's not married. The suffering she feels in this life will be made up for in the life to come."
Or how about "they haven't had children yet.... I hope the spirit shows them that there is no higher calling in this life."
Or "she's dating a non-member. It's just a waste of time - she should be dating worthy people."
What I find so hateful about this is the superiority behind this kind of attitude. Who says that woman isn't happy? Who says she needs a husband to feel fulfilled? And by expressing the sentiment, you may be detracting from her otherwise incredibly happy, spiritual, successful and fulfilling life.
What about the young couple, who, after a few years of marriage, still hasn't had children? I can't even BEGIN to express how hurtful the pity can be there. What if they can't have children? The "harmless" questions or jokes about their lack of offspring might be what brings them to tears at home. But if not? What if they haven't decided to have children yet? Is that any reason to pity them? It's a personal decision between that couple and the Lord.
And the third example. As you might have guessed, this one hits a little closer to home. If you know the person well, then you should know whether or not they are picking someone "worthy" of them. Whether or not they will compromise their standards for this person. Whether or not their association with this person will derail their spirituality or not.
I'm not saying I've never had these thoughts. I think they're more natural than most of us would like to admit. I am, however, declaring them as unchristian, and something to avoid.
Basically, there are many, many paths we can take in this life. I don't think there is only one correct, happy path for each person. There are many ways to be a righteous, decent person. And that our time is better spent appreciating our journey than judging that of others.
*I'm in no way saying that it doesn't help you teach your children, but rather commenting on the fact that that is not the only valid reason to get an education.
"Because," I said, "I'm pretty sure no one wants to hear what I have to say."
"I want to hear what you have to say!" She answered. "What would you blog about if you could?"
I went on to say "I would blog about how I like obama and think that gun control is the best thing ever. And how most of the people I have on my facebook feed piss me off when they post about how "guns don't kill people, people kill people." Having lots of friends with strict "I hate obama" feelings and "pro gun" feelings, I don't think that blog would be too well received."
And those are things I would, and will, blog about.
You see, I've been remaining silent. Because "it's not worth it" to get involved, and because I know there will be consequences for expressing myself.
But then, I realized.
If you don't want to read my blog, don't.
I'm not forcing anyone to read this. And I'm not in the mood to censor myself anymore.
So those are all things I'm going to express myself about.
But today, I'm going to express something totally different.
Anyone that has been following my life at all has probably figured out that I'm dating a handsome Swiss 20 year old that does not belong to my religion.
And I live with him in Canada.
And I've gotten all sorts of reactions to that fact. People who think it's "sketchy" or bad, people who try to convince me that I'm evil and people trying to figure out exactly where, on a scale from "utterly naive" to "total shameless whore" I stand. So I've avoided conversations, questions, and everything else.
And this blog is not going to be me explaining myself. Because I've realized something.
It's no one's damn business.
What I am going to address, however, in this blog, is the "benevolent condescension" that is so common among religious people.
Let me explain what I mean. There is, seemingly, a "formula" for being a happy, successful mormon woman. This formula includes:
1) Get married in the temple (preferably to a returned missionary)
2) Have kids
3) Get some education (if you're liberal like that. I mean, it will come in handy when you teach your kids.)*
4) Have no issues or doubts whatsoever
If you stray from the formula, people pity you. In that special, christian way. And that spiritual pity? I'm calling it benevolent condescension.
It's the feeling that some express that "she's such a good woman, and it's not her fault that she's not married. The suffering she feels in this life will be made up for in the life to come."
Or how about "they haven't had children yet.... I hope the spirit shows them that there is no higher calling in this life."
Or "she's dating a non-member. It's just a waste of time - she should be dating worthy people."
What I find so hateful about this is the superiority behind this kind of attitude. Who says that woman isn't happy? Who says she needs a husband to feel fulfilled? And by expressing the sentiment, you may be detracting from her otherwise incredibly happy, spiritual, successful and fulfilling life.
What about the young couple, who, after a few years of marriage, still hasn't had children? I can't even BEGIN to express how hurtful the pity can be there. What if they can't have children? The "harmless" questions or jokes about their lack of offspring might be what brings them to tears at home. But if not? What if they haven't decided to have children yet? Is that any reason to pity them? It's a personal decision between that couple and the Lord.
And the third example. As you might have guessed, this one hits a little closer to home. If you know the person well, then you should know whether or not they are picking someone "worthy" of them. Whether or not they will compromise their standards for this person. Whether or not their association with this person will derail their spirituality or not.
I'm not saying I've never had these thoughts. I think they're more natural than most of us would like to admit. I am, however, declaring them as unchristian, and something to avoid.
Basically, there are many, many paths we can take in this life. I don't think there is only one correct, happy path for each person. There are many ways to be a righteous, decent person. And that our time is better spent appreciating our journey than judging that of others.
*I'm in no way saying that it doesn't help you teach your children, but rather commenting on the fact that that is not the only valid reason to get an education.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Things that I should've learned when I was 13....
It's amazing how I'm still growing as a person, and I'm double that age now. Does the changing and struggling and fixing things about yourself ever really go away? Or is that just a delusion of youth?
So, because I like lists, I'm going to list a few things I should've learned a long time ago, but didn't.
1) Mayonnaise is delicious. I've been hating on it for years, but that's only because I've been eating gross sweet mayo. Homemade mayo is manna from heaven.
2) Hurrying through my meals is a bad habit. I should be able to sit and enjoy food, since I'm eating it anyways. I used to see my speed-eating as a positive - like I could put it on my resume or something. It's not. It makes me eat too much and gives me stomach problems.
3) Canada is not just a crappy version of the U.S.. My first comment to Norman when we landed in Hamilton, ON, was "Canadians look like Americans, except they're happy."
4) I'm a feminist. I've been avoiding that word for years, because it is so loaded - especially in a conservative, religious atmosphere. But the truth is, I'm a feminist. I believe in gender equality. And no, that does not mean I love power suits or want to be a man in any way. I just want the access to the opportunities and blessings to be the same no matter your chromosomal makeup.
5) Happiness is not complicated. I used to think that I had happiness figured out - that it is something achieved after years of struggle with self, with God, with others. That it was a balance. Turns out happiness is what happens when you accept who you are and what you are capable of. It happens when you start living every day as a new opportunity for good, as opposed to a punishment for past mistakes.
6) I never want to be part of a society that teaches women that they need to wear shapewear every day. It is indicative of restraint in so many other ways. I can honestly say that, at least for me, the shapewear I sported on a daily basis was the outward manifestation of something very, very wrong in how I perceived myself.
7) Not everything I think is bad is universally accepted as such. Not to say I change my view of whether or not it is bad, but rather that people who don't have the exact same view of what is "good" and "bad" as me are not, therefore, "bad" people.
8) There are bad people out there. Very. Bad. People.
9) I've let people manipulate me far too much in the past. I discovered that there are very, very few people whose opinions matter to me. The rest of you can feel free to shove your negative feedback where the sun don't shine.
10) My faith journey is mine, and mine alone. Maybe someday I'll start sharing it on here. But I don't need to validate my testimony or personal convictions to ANYONE, EVER.*
11) I really like me. I think I'm great. And I think that leaving the abyss known as Provo, Utah was the BEST thing I have ever done. For myself and for everyone there.
So what are some of the things you know now that you should've known when you were 13?
*Except in a temple recommend interview. Then, you know, it's kind of, like, mandatory.
So, because I like lists, I'm going to list a few things I should've learned a long time ago, but didn't.
1) Mayonnaise is delicious. I've been hating on it for years, but that's only because I've been eating gross sweet mayo. Homemade mayo is manna from heaven.
2) Hurrying through my meals is a bad habit. I should be able to sit and enjoy food, since I'm eating it anyways. I used to see my speed-eating as a positive - like I could put it on my resume or something. It's not. It makes me eat too much and gives me stomach problems.
3) Canada is not just a crappy version of the U.S.. My first comment to Norman when we landed in Hamilton, ON, was "Canadians look like Americans, except they're happy."
4) I'm a feminist. I've been avoiding that word for years, because it is so loaded - especially in a conservative, religious atmosphere. But the truth is, I'm a feminist. I believe in gender equality. And no, that does not mean I love power suits or want to be a man in any way. I just want the access to the opportunities and blessings to be the same no matter your chromosomal makeup.
5) Happiness is not complicated. I used to think that I had happiness figured out - that it is something achieved after years of struggle with self, with God, with others. That it was a balance. Turns out happiness is what happens when you accept who you are and what you are capable of. It happens when you start living every day as a new opportunity for good, as opposed to a punishment for past mistakes.
6) I never want to be part of a society that teaches women that they need to wear shapewear every day. It is indicative of restraint in so many other ways. I can honestly say that, at least for me, the shapewear I sported on a daily basis was the outward manifestation of something very, very wrong in how I perceived myself.
7) Not everything I think is bad is universally accepted as such. Not to say I change my view of whether or not it is bad, but rather that people who don't have the exact same view of what is "good" and "bad" as me are not, therefore, "bad" people.
8) There are bad people out there. Very. Bad. People.
9) I've let people manipulate me far too much in the past. I discovered that there are very, very few people whose opinions matter to me. The rest of you can feel free to shove your negative feedback where the sun don't shine.
10) My faith journey is mine, and mine alone. Maybe someday I'll start sharing it on here. But I don't need to validate my testimony or personal convictions to ANYONE, EVER.*
11) I really like me. I think I'm great. And I think that leaving the abyss known as Provo, Utah was the BEST thing I have ever done. For myself and for everyone there.
So what are some of the things you know now that you should've known when you were 13?
*Except in a temple recommend interview. Then, you know, it's kind of, like, mandatory.
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