On the cusp of my second visit, she described me to her friends as follows: "Leah and drama have a high correlation, not implying causation."
In other words, crap goes DOWN in my life, most of which I am not causing, but which I somehow attract. Don't get me wrong - I have my dramatic moments, just like the rest of humanity. I just... somehow attract the unending supply of crazy in the world.
The last episode ended with someone I thought was a dear friend of mine, screaming "GET OFF MY PROPERTY! GET OFF MY PROPERTY!" As she tossed my belongings out her front door.
The last episode ended with someone I thought was a dear friend of mine, screaming "GET OFF MY PROPERTY! GET OFF MY PROPERTY!" As she tossed my belongings out her front door.
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| Disclaimer: Not a photo of the actual crazy person. |
Let's back up for a moment - what led to this moment of complete and total insanity?
SO. Due to high stress environmental factors (that are boring, so I'm not going to list them here), I was SUPER stressed at the beginning of July. My aforementioned sister was meant to come visit and we were going to go on an EPIC RV trip through the Canadian Rockies. I was super excited!
Unfortunately, the stress got so bad I called her and canceled the trip. I paid for her to reroute her flights, and all is well - she's in Argentina right now enjoying a different trip, so no worries. She's not suffering.
Now GET THIS - the day she would have arrived, we would have left to pick her up, arrived home, and found our house flooded. That's right - our house flooded the day she was meant to arrive.
I started the dishwasher, took my dog to the dog park, and when I came home, my living room and kitchen was hot, humid, and wet. Like, step on the carpet and your foot is submerged in water wet.
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| It pretty much looked like this. But much, much larger. |
After a few moments of genuine panic, Norman and I found a shop vac, sucked up as much water as we could, set up our fans, and called the insurance. We did well.
Fast forward a few weeks - after getting estimates for the repairs, picking the new flooring, and waiting for the repairs to begin, we again wake up, go to the dog park with Jewels, and come home to......
A flood in the office of our house. Our upstairs neighbours had had a malfunction with their washing machine, and it had affected our whole corridor - so in come the emergency repairmen, with their ripping out of the baseboards, and the peeling back of the carpet, and the drying of everything.
NEVER MIND the fact that all the furniture in the rest of the previous flood was in the office.
NEVER MIND that we had to move EVERYTHING back into the living room until the office was dried.
NEVER MIND that we now had to put all our furniture of the whole house in the bedroom now, and stay elsewhere.
But no matter - Norman and I buckled down, moved all the furniture, and received a few offers from friends of where we could stay. One was a basement in a townhouse less than 50 feet from our apartment - convenient, but we didn't want to put the owner out by being underfoot all the time.
We thought - maybe we can stay at a hotel?
Holy expensive, batman!
Finally, a nice friend of ours and her husband invited us to stay in their 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom house.
Now that sounds doable! Have a separate area to ourselves?
So we pack up our things, stake a claim on a far bedroom, and get along with our lives.
By day two, we knew we had made a mistake. Far from being removed, we were constantly around our friend. And she is a talker. And she likes to tell you how things are, and not ask what you think. So we knew we had to change the situation. And soon.
Fast forward - I drop Norman off at the bus station to head to school, and I get home. Earlier in the day, I had dropped my phone in the toilet, so no working phone. Awesome.
A friend's beloved pooch had escaped, and was running all over the highway.
I hop in my car, and she insists on coming with me. At this point, I was glad of the help, and just wanted to get on the road.
After about an hour checking everywhere I could think of, we started driving back home. I knew I wouldn't sleep knowing Kali was out there, alive or dead, but I had to reconcile myself for whatever came next.
So there I am, driving in one lane traffic during rush hour, and I get a call.
Kali is alive. She is safe. And she is home.
I was so relieved I started to cry.
Now Kali's owners are a couple who are now broken up. So the girl had her, and the boy didn't know what was happening - and he had blocked her number. So I say OF COURSE I will call him and let him know that she's okay.
At this point, my friend starts smacking me, grabbing things out of my hands, and throwing them down.
Angry, I yell that I can't drive and fight at the same time.
In all her hubris, she yells "If you ever talk to me like that again...."
And I stop the car. I ask her to get out. She won't.
So I do. I left my car blocking one lane traffic in rush hour. THAT'S HOW CRAZY THINGS GOT. That was a mistake. It was stupid. I know.
After about a minute, I see her walking away. I ask her "Are my keys in my car?"
She won't even look at me.
So I run to my car, where a lot of (understandably) angry people are waiting. One of the construction workers yells, and I start crying. Tell him that there was an emergency. Seeing how upset I was, he asks
"Are you okay to drive?"
"No, but I have to."
I get in the car, and drive away.
Now. I knew my friend was high strung. So I went STRAIGHT to a friend's house, to ask him to come with me to get my things. I knew if I were alone, things might get out of hand.
She had left me with her gate opener, so I opened the gate, and went in. Normally, they leave the door unlocked - I thought I could grab my things and leave. At this point, i was totally composed. Upset, yes, but composed.
All the doors were locked.
My computers, my dog, my clothes..... everything was inside.
So we wait.
And in drives her and her husband, and she strolls right past me and opens the door.
"Get your things and get out."
I rush past, and try to rush to the room to grab everything.
"I see what you did, bringing them here. If you EVER do that again, I will call the cops."
"I just want to get my things and leave," I answered.
Then, the true crazy emerges.
I hear her on the phone.
"Yes, there is a man and two women in my driveway and house, and I have no idea who they are."
I grab one load of things, and bring it to the car.
Suddenly, the door slams, locks, and I'm outside, with my things, my dog, everything inside.
The gate was open, and she basically throws my dog outside, shutting the door on her back.
I grab her and put her safely in the car.
Then, the door opens again and again - she had taken my things out of our suitcases, and was throwing heaps of them onto her front porch. At this point, I just had to laugh. "Don't throw the computers out! You'll have to pay for them!" I said, smiling.
I walked up the porch to grab the belongings spread out over her porch. As I approached, she kept yelling that she would charge me with trespassing. "DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!" Of course, I kept coming closer - I was going to get my things, one way or another - and that made her mad.
She just kept getting more ridiculous. I think the fact that I wasn't upset at all was escalating her.
The whole time, her husband was asking me where my things were and bringing them out to me. No sympathy, just - not ridiculous. Kudos to him.
After receiving most of my belongings, we decided to wait for the police to arrive - no need to flee the scene. 5 minutes pass.... then 8..... "3 more minutes, and then we'll go," my friend decided.
Finally, the police officer arrived. He asked what had happened. Crazy lady (as my former friend will now be called) "They are on my property and I want them gone."
The police officer turned to my friend. "We want to grab her things and get out of here. She was staying here, and they had a disagreement, and then the homeowner called you. She also threatened to shoot me if I didn't leave. I have a dash cam and it is all on video."
The police officer turned to me. "I and my fiancee are having work done on our house. Our friend and her husband very kindly invited us to stay here. We got in a disagreement in the car, so I wanted to grab my things and leave. She then locked me out and threw my things out."
He then turns back to crazy lady. "This all seems petty. Did you threaten to shoot him?" She tries to interrupt, saying "I have the right to shoot him!" And he almost yells "No, you don't."
"If I feel in danger, I do."
He answers "Is there anything about this situation that feels dangerous??"
She then yells that she can press charges for trespassing.
He shakes his head. "No, you can't."
She just gets more upset, and insists.
"Don't tell me how to do my job!" he yells.
At this point, she realizes she is defeated. The police officer asks if there is anything else in the house that belongs to me.
"My dog's leash."
She walks back in, throws it out the door, and starts screaming.
"GET OFF MY PROPERTY! GET OFF MY PROPERTY! GET OFF MY PROPERTY!"
The police officer asks us to pull off her lot, drive down the road, and pull over. He then just laughs with us about how CRAZY things can get. "There was nothing we could do or say to calm her down. We just had to leave."
Now here is my thing about this. This person was a dear friend of mine. And when she behaved this way, it is almost like my friend stopped existing - the friend I know would NEVER behave that way. It was almost..... concerning, from a psychological standpoint. I feel more disappointed and genuinely concerned than I am angry. I don't think a normal, functioning adult would act that way.
So now, here we are, staying at our friend's townhouse. But I'll tell you what - staying in a townhouse with a sane person feels much more spacious than staying at a mansion with a crazy person.
Remember that when choosing roommates. :-)
NEVER MIND the fact that all the furniture in the rest of the previous flood was in the office.
NEVER MIND that we had to move EVERYTHING back into the living room until the office was dried.
NEVER MIND that we now had to put all our furniture of the whole house in the bedroom now, and stay elsewhere.
But no matter - Norman and I buckled down, moved all the furniture, and received a few offers from friends of where we could stay. One was a basement in a townhouse less than 50 feet from our apartment - convenient, but we didn't want to put the owner out by being underfoot all the time.
We thought - maybe we can stay at a hotel?
Holy expensive, batman!
Finally, a nice friend of ours and her husband invited us to stay in their 4 bedroom, 4 bathroom house.
Now that sounds doable! Have a separate area to ourselves?
So we pack up our things, stake a claim on a far bedroom, and get along with our lives.
By day two, we knew we had made a mistake. Far from being removed, we were constantly around our friend. And she is a talker. And she likes to tell you how things are, and not ask what you think. So we knew we had to change the situation. And soon.
Fast forward - I drop Norman off at the bus station to head to school, and I get home. Earlier in the day, I had dropped my phone in the toilet, so no working phone. Awesome.
A friend's beloved pooch had escaped, and was running all over the highway.
I hop in my car, and she insists on coming with me. At this point, I was glad of the help, and just wanted to get on the road.
After about an hour checking everywhere I could think of, we started driving back home. I knew I wouldn't sleep knowing Kali was out there, alive or dead, but I had to reconcile myself for whatever came next.
So there I am, driving in one lane traffic during rush hour, and I get a call.
Kali is alive. She is safe. And she is home.
I was so relieved I started to cry.
Now Kali's owners are a couple who are now broken up. So the girl had her, and the boy didn't know what was happening - and he had blocked her number. So I say OF COURSE I will call him and let him know that she's okay.
At this point, my friend starts smacking me, grabbing things out of my hands, and throwing them down.
Angry, I yell that I can't drive and fight at the same time.
In all her hubris, she yells "If you ever talk to me like that again...."
And I stop the car. I ask her to get out. She won't.
So I do. I left my car blocking one lane traffic in rush hour. THAT'S HOW CRAZY THINGS GOT. That was a mistake. It was stupid. I know.
After about a minute, I see her walking away. I ask her "Are my keys in my car?"
She won't even look at me.
So I run to my car, where a lot of (understandably) angry people are waiting. One of the construction workers yells, and I start crying. Tell him that there was an emergency. Seeing how upset I was, he asks
"Are you okay to drive?"
"No, but I have to."
I get in the car, and drive away.
Now. I knew my friend was high strung. So I went STRAIGHT to a friend's house, to ask him to come with me to get my things. I knew if I were alone, things might get out of hand.
She had left me with her gate opener, so I opened the gate, and went in. Normally, they leave the door unlocked - I thought I could grab my things and leave. At this point, i was totally composed. Upset, yes, but composed.
All the doors were locked.
My computers, my dog, my clothes..... everything was inside.
So we wait.
And in drives her and her husband, and she strolls right past me and opens the door.
"Get your things and get out."
I rush past, and try to rush to the room to grab everything.
"I see what you did, bringing them here. If you EVER do that again, I will call the cops."
"I just want to get my things and leave," I answered.
Then, the true crazy emerges.
I hear her on the phone.
"Yes, there is a man and two women in my driveway and house, and I have no idea who they are."
I grab one load of things, and bring it to the car.
Suddenly, the door slams, locks, and I'm outside, with my things, my dog, everything inside.
The gate was open, and she basically throws my dog outside, shutting the door on her back.
I grab her and put her safely in the car.
Then, the door opens again and again - she had taken my things out of our suitcases, and was throwing heaps of them onto her front porch. At this point, I just had to laugh. "Don't throw the computers out! You'll have to pay for them!" I said, smiling.
I walked up the porch to grab the belongings spread out over her porch. As I approached, she kept yelling that she would charge me with trespassing. "DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!" Of course, I kept coming closer - I was going to get my things, one way or another - and that made her mad.
She just kept getting more ridiculous. I think the fact that I wasn't upset at all was escalating her.
The whole time, her husband was asking me where my things were and bringing them out to me. No sympathy, just - not ridiculous. Kudos to him.
After receiving most of my belongings, we decided to wait for the police to arrive - no need to flee the scene. 5 minutes pass.... then 8..... "3 more minutes, and then we'll go," my friend decided.
Finally, the police officer arrived. He asked what had happened. Crazy lady (as my former friend will now be called) "They are on my property and I want them gone."
The police officer turned to my friend. "We want to grab her things and get out of here. She was staying here, and they had a disagreement, and then the homeowner called you. She also threatened to shoot me if I didn't leave. I have a dash cam and it is all on video."
The police officer turned to me. "I and my fiancee are having work done on our house. Our friend and her husband very kindly invited us to stay here. We got in a disagreement in the car, so I wanted to grab my things and leave. She then locked me out and threw my things out."
He then turns back to crazy lady. "This all seems petty. Did you threaten to shoot him?" She tries to interrupt, saying "I have the right to shoot him!" And he almost yells "No, you don't."
"If I feel in danger, I do."
He answers "Is there anything about this situation that feels dangerous??"
She then yells that she can press charges for trespassing.
He shakes his head. "No, you can't."
She just gets more upset, and insists.
"Don't tell me how to do my job!" he yells.
At this point, she realizes she is defeated. The police officer asks if there is anything else in the house that belongs to me.
"My dog's leash."
She walks back in, throws it out the door, and starts screaming.
"GET OFF MY PROPERTY! GET OFF MY PROPERTY! GET OFF MY PROPERTY!"
The police officer asks us to pull off her lot, drive down the road, and pull over. He then just laughs with us about how CRAZY things can get. "There was nothing we could do or say to calm her down. We just had to leave."
Now here is my thing about this. This person was a dear friend of mine. And when she behaved this way, it is almost like my friend stopped existing - the friend I know would NEVER behave that way. It was almost..... concerning, from a psychological standpoint. I feel more disappointed and genuinely concerned than I am angry. I don't think a normal, functioning adult would act that way.
So now, here we are, staying at our friend's townhouse. But I'll tell you what - staying in a townhouse with a sane person feels much more spacious than staying at a mansion with a crazy person.
Remember that when choosing roommates. :-)
