My biggest fear

Being left behind.

It involves being the last one. And it's my biggest fear.

Followed closely by whales.

Huge destructive savages.

I'm not dramatic. Drama and I just have a high correlation

My sister Debby once described me that way.

Well, I guess this weekend lives up to that reputation. Let me tell you about it.

First of all, I found something I like about winter. I like late afternoon showers that are so hot they turn your skin pink. And I like getting out of them, when no one is home, and seeing the bluish winter light coming through the blinds. That's what I love. So picture this - I'm all blissed out from finding just one little thing I like about winter, and then, Sunday morning, I come out my job to find....

My car was dead.

Now normally, that would mean that I was retarded and left the lights on, but after 20 minutes of trying to juice up the battery (thanks Bryan), it still wouldn't start. So just picture me in my 4 inch leopard print heels prancing around the MTC parking lot. Awesome. Luckily, some nice stranger and his attractive son popped the clutch, and I got going.

Then, I get to church, and I park. I closed my eyes in hopeful anticipation, and killed the engine. And it wouldn't turn over.

Well, if you know anything about me, this next part won't surprise you. My quid pro quo is to freak out and then get over it. So I have this sobbing breakdown in church, and everyone's like looking back at me as I'm heaving and sniffling. It's fine. It doesn't help that I'm already a ward project..... I think they think I'm inactive. Whatever.

Anyway, so long story short (I know, too late), I had to pop the clutch one more time this morning to get it to the mechanic, and in order to do that, I had to push it (thanks to my friends Adam and Drew), and.... no one stopped to help. We had a GIRL pushing a CAR people! What the heck?! It's fine.

Add to all this that I had a final this morning at 7 and one this afternoon at 1, and that I got up at 4:30 to study. And that I took an epic nap on the wooden benches at school. Awesome.

Just freaking out a little bit.

Haloween

Second post of the day.... but I needed to update about haloween. Me and a few friends decided to dress up and take a photo shoot in the desert of Utah. If you want to see pictures of all of the costumes, click here. 
However, I was pretty proud of my costume, so here it is.

Just so you know....

So.

Getting over it.

People find such satisfaction in passive agressively telling someone to "get over it". Most of the time, that phrase follows trivial stories of passing disappointments, mild irritations, or minute disagreements. However, sometimes, in the more extreme cases, people refuse to see the gravity of certain situations.

Just because you don't get it doesn't mean you can dismiss it.

Now, I need to make a distinction. It's not that we want to wallow in the experience, growing soggy and pruny from its murky, dull pain or momentary excstasy. It's more wanting to feel everything, experience it all before giving it up. Like an otter pop. Sucking the life essence out of the flavored ice until only the frigid exoskeleton remains. Pushing the emotions all the way from my heart and brain, through my fingertips and toes.

Now, this make take longer for some than others. So here's what it is; don't tell me to get over it. To just move on. Let me feel it all the way through. And if you don't understand, then that is your problem and not mine. Have you ever considered that maybe some people just feel deeper than others? Because that is, indeed, the case.

Now. Just to let you know of a social experiment I am now performing, this is the gist:

I don't need to apologize to you unless I meant to cause you harm. If my statements offended you and I didn't mean it, then that is more your problem then mine. Realize that not everything is about you and not everything is a direct attack on your person, and then maybe you'll get what I mean.

BIRTHDAY!!!

 Today, I would like to thank everyone that participated in my birthday celebrations. I would like to just show a few pictures of what it was.

At Carrabbas. DELICIOUS FOOD!

This is how happy I felt to be there

Look at all the food shrapnel on the table. YUM!

Here is my majestic steak at birthday dinner: Part 2 - Texas Roadhouse

Anna and buck were really happy to be celebrating my birthday with me.

So this weekend was my birthday. And I just wanted to thank everyone who came and who helped make me feel so loved. I know other people have already blogged on this, but I wanted to add my two cents.

So thank you, everyone. Dinner at both restaurants, and the small gathering in Logan (courtesy of Shano) were wonderful.

Girl Drama? What?

So. Yesterday was epic. I say that for many reasons. They are as follows in no particular order:
1) I ate lunch with my friend anna, which consisted of barbequed chicken, tomatoes, and summer squash with a balsamic vinaigrette, and koolaide served out of a bowl into sugar-crusted martini glasses. Tuesdays with Anna..... maybe I could write something epic about it and get loads of money.
2) There was massive girl drama in my apartment. So monday night I walked in, and there was a group of girls in my apartment. I wasn;t even paying attention until I noticed that one of them was crying - they were having like a meeting about how to resolve some drama, which is totally respectable, but I was STUCK!! If I left, it was awkward. If I stayed, it was awkward. So yesterday they had to catch me up on about 4 months of drama so that I could get why said conference took place in my house.
3) I finished all my assignments for my capstone course in like an hour. Pretty epic. It includes 2 presentations, a long paper, and an executive summary. BOO YAH!!
4) I got to bed before 10:30. Which means when my alarm went off at 5:42 this morning, I wasn't crusty and angry. And yoga this morning was just that much better.

In other news, my friend mandy asked on monday if I had lost weight. Less than a week and I'm already progressing. LOVE IT!! Friend Mandy also is setting me up with a brown boy. Oh how I love her for all of these things, and many more.

For now, that is all.

Back to school. You know what I'm realizing? This semester is SUPER easy. I'm only taking 12 credits! After this spring, when I was taking the equivalent of 12 credits and working full time, this feels like cake. As I was planning my week, I realized I could feasibly get about a week ahead by just using my time wisely this monday and tuesday. Why not? Then I can do things like take a zumba class, and have my butt kicked by it. Speaking of which, I got this wristband at BYU that allows me to take all these aerobics classes and stuff this semester. It's been awesome. I went to this class called power pump on saturday morning, and it's STILL kicking my trash.

So things are pretty much normal. My new plan of budgeting has been working like a charm; granted, it has only been 2 weeks, but a good 2 weeks if you ask me! I have stuck completely to my budget, and it has been glorious. I have also washed my car every saturday since I bought it (that's three saturdays, for the arithmetically challenged).

Yeah. So I guess my life is average for now. Which is great. I'm going to St. George in 2 weeks to visit my friend Stooph, who I love.

That's her. Isn't she great?
After that I'm heading up to Rexburg with my friend Cami, who I also love.

That's Cami. When we went back to Chicago together. I heart her.

Cool, well, party people, it's time for me to chat with some folks. have a nice one!